rju12

I read all of your post and it is very interesting to me because my thought on this subject has changed numerous times over the last 2 years. I was brought up Christian but I have a lot of problems with some of the beliefs and actually those of most every religion. I was atheist for a while just because of questions like why would god send anyone to hell for an eternity for something they did in a finite time plus many other reasons. I actually took a class, Philosophy of Religion and it really made me think about such things. There are so many religions and the biggest predictor of what you follow is what you were born into so who is anyone to say one is right without looking into all of them? The biggest problem was they all seemed to be based around an after life... Now I wanna know (maybe i don't lol) what you guys think about this after being really depressed and crap with lots of stuff going on in my life like, got done with two years of school didn't know what i wanted to do still, parents going through divorce, dad gambled hella money and got like 2dwi's , I used drugs like every day and crap was taking medicine and all kinds of shit. Anyways I took shrooms and it changed how I thought about a lot of stuff. Lol what happened was i was tripping and was in my room with my girlfriend and i seen the clock spinning, she turned out the lights cuz was tired then I thought started to think i was dieing. I seen us both like turning into skeletons and she kept saying it is okay then we came to a point where we couldn't move. then i just seen like white and black half and half like a ying yang symbol. To me it kinda represented the good and bad of everything and continousness. anyway later i zoomed out and all was black I was like freaking out for the longest time crying and stuff then i was like this is it i'm still thinking and it felt like it was FOREVER then I like started realizing a lot of stuff (I feel like you really do sometimes, like the way things are, like you look at it different) then I seen my whole life flash before me and then like knew everything for a split second then started shaking and all turned to light and had the most crazy best loving feeling you could ever imagine. Like I realized everything was just in my head. Like I realeased every fricken good chemical in my had by wanting it. Then I came back. It was nuts Like the last part of knowing everything and shaking and stuff happened so quick. Like I only remembered what i needed to. I know I was just high or whatever but it was just so crazy i thought i was crazy. I was atheist my whole life and I now believe like everyone goes to "heaven" it doesn't matter what you do really you can't do wrong like this is just a learning ground before you move on (maybe if your really bad it just takes you longer in the blackness to see why what you did was wrong). I had other weird thoughts like I am god god is everything. Not thinking i'm god I don't know how to explain it. So many thoughts like we will always keep learning and eventually if we all were more like 1 it would be more like bliss on earth. I am smart in like math and science and that is how I looked at the world and thought life after death was what stupid people believed but now I think like Look at how much we now know that no one knew a hundred years ago... You can't imagine what you don't know? Kinda like what not existing would be like or having a consciousness forever. In math more than three dimensions are possible but it is really hard to imagine 4 dimensions let alone 5 or 6 and on lol. You can't use physical means to test for something non physical. Can a blind person imagine seeing if they haven't? You can't tell people what you experience. I want to ramble more but I want someone to actually read this and give feedback lol.