SF, I'm so glad you could bring your illegible and often mis-informed posts from tilted weaponry to tilted food. I liked watching the guys in tilted weaponry destroy you verbally while you floundered like a fish out of water, grasping at anything to prove your point.
Guess that means it's my turn. I'm not going to be as detailed as TK, but he's a lot smarter than me, but I'm going to give it my all. So, let's break this down.
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Originally Posted by Strange Famous
When I masterchef a meal, the point if to make something that:
1 - is easy
2 - is cheap
3 - will taste good
4 - is as healthy as it might be
What I would suggest to anyone is, by all means make your own pizza dough from scratch... take into account how warm your hands are when you nead the dough, have your yeast at 3.5 degrees above room temp, waist 30 minutes of your precious life punching a mixture over and over again.
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"is easy/is cheap" Hate to break it to you, but a frozen pizza (or packaged) dough is going to be easier, cheaper and have a better flavor than frying pita bread on the grill. You're excuse for pizza sauce is completely bland and acually is more complicated than buying a pizza sauce pre-made. See SF, there are these things called
spices and you put them on food to make it taste better. Since your recipes doesn't call for any salt, pepper, or any
Italian herbs that could be used to make a tomato paste/puree taste like pizza sauce, I assume you don't use them. Any "masterchef" "chefing it up" (wtf is chefing? I must have missed that term) would have listed spices in his cookbook quality recipes if he was using them.
"As healthy as it might be"? What does that even mean? Are you saying all of your "masterchef" (I think I just gagged a bit having to type that) recipes are healthy? Using cheese spread? Frying your pita bread instead of baking it? You have massive holes in your theory of healthy food.
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Originally Posted by Strange Famous
Then make the meal the way I have chefed it. And I guarantee, as you take the first bite, and follow it up with a sip of cold beer... just enjoying the masterful mix of cheese, tomato, onion, garlic, mushroom: THEN you'll consider that you could instead still be punching and pulling apart the dough for your authentic middle class pizza. You'll know what cookings about at that moment.
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I guarantee that if I had to eat your lazy excuse for pizza, I would need beer to wash it down.
Have you ever made bread or pizza dough from scratch? I know you have had to "masterchef" some kind of bread like food in your life. It takes about 5 minutes from mixing to kneading the dough to make a ball for a large pizza. Punching down takes less than 5 minutes. Not 30 minutes "of your precious life" as you previously stated.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Strange Famous
Seriously... if you want to know the application of cooking mastery, make this meal of the shepherd's pie I laid out a recipe for previously.
The reason I describe my technique as that of a masterchef is the quality of the result, not how intricate or pained you can make the method. I have given consideration to the balanced mix of FIVE ingredients to give an ideal pizza. When I first invented this meal there was no mushroom and I wasnt 100% satisfied with it. Now I am.
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So, you are saying that we make our meals to complicated and therefor taste like crap? While your recipes that don't even use salt or any spice is going to have more flavor? That's not how it works. I'm not sure where you got your training for being a "masterchef", but I think you need your money back.
You want to talk minimalistic cooking?
Stone Soup Blog. Minimal use of ingredients and full of flavor. She knows how use the best ingredients to get the maximum amount of flavor out of every ingredient.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Strange Famous
The pitta bread, when toasted just right, is just the same as pizza dough insofar as is imeaningful (ie - as an adequate base for the part of the pizza that has flavour).
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Pita PITA! I'm trying my best to bite my tongue when it comes to your spelling and grammar, but it's a frinkin' 4 letter word, spell it right!
Pita bread does NOT equal pizza dough. I've made pizza on pita bread before and it doesn't taste the same. It's too chewy and doesn't hold up to folding or the "one hand hold" which is essential for proper pizza handling.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Strange Famous
I would put my cooking skills against any man. Those who think cooking is some kind of high art / or an excercise of their artistic temperament must suit themselves. I serve food that tastes good.
To be honest I'd consider putting out a cookery book because I suspect I would outsell many "so called" chefs.
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Done, so help me god I have two reasons to donate to the "Fly SF to USA to prove him wrong about everything that comes out of his mouth" fund. I'll pitch in the money so I can watch you mishandle a firearm in front of trained professionals AND out cook you with one arm tied behind my back.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Strange Famous
EDIT - and you know what really makes me laugh? Someone has an actual whole BLOG about pizza. They wrote an article aout which shelf of the oven to cook it on!!! It wouldnt surprise me if someone has written a whole BOOK just about cooking pizza. And I just step up... it took me three tries to perfect this meal, 10 minutes to write it up, its better than anything they've ever done in their lives most probably (in terms of the result when a normal man tries to follow both recipes)
And people question why I call myself a Masterchef?
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Everyone that has read your recipes, questions why you call yourself a masterchef and I'd love for you to put your recipe up against anyone who has made pizza for a living. Do you even know what pizza tastes like? I'm not talking a pizza out of a freezer (I can bet it tastes better than your recipe) but a hand tossed pizza made by someone who actually knows how to cook? I wonder sometimes if you have ever tasted a real home cooked meal or are you the guy trying to decide the ocean without ever having your feet in the sand.
Now SF, I'm willing to compromise here. You have every right to post your recipes in Tfood. Just do the readers a favor (that's don't know how you like to troll various parts of this board) and say, "My name is SF and I am not in any form a chef. If you want the lazy way out of cooking, please use this recipe I'm about to post." That way no one actually tries to make your recipe and will save themselves time and effort.
Then again, you most likely are coming to come back with a response on how I have no experence cooking, I'm flaming you by saying you are a troll, whine about it and still claim to be a "masterchef".
*****
Everything dlish said. QFFT.