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Originally Posted by ChickenMuffin
!@#$.... that makes a lot of sense now. Possibly, my biggest insecurity of all and that's one huge of a checklist too. I thought of her as my wife and I didn't want her to run wild. I gave it my all to the relationship and thought that it was too much to bear the things she does that isn't 'right'. But I don't own her and this is her life and I'm just part of it. I do need personal growth, and I haven't much respected her personal space. She has watched porn behind my back through webcam(I heard noises). and I confronted her about it, though I wasn't mean towards it but simply "Heyyyyyy which porn video you watching? Share! Share ! Shareeee<3" Not sure but I thought it was okay to be exposed to each other of these sorts. I mean, we were opened about porn, sex and etc. Don't know why she would hide that from me. I get it now... damn, why didn't I approach you all first when going through these problems. I trusted my own beliefs and values and had went with it, seeing my parents and what they go through everyday and yet they're always there for each other. They know each other and get back up together from problem to problem and this is something I wanted in my relationship, to grow from these problems. Maybe I was too delusional of this phase, maybe it was the simple life back then and now we're in the 21st century. God dammit...
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I agree with all of the above advice given to you (ie, work on yourself, develop your life, your woman is not your property, etc), and would also like to add--you may be tempted to repeat this behavior with your next relationship. My first serious relationship was with someone who came across very much like you do. He took it so far that he threatened to kill himself and I was young and stupid and believed him and then stayed with him for 3 years and was absolutely miserable. I called his bluff and he didn't do it--but he did go on to make more and more women miserable after me. You can change now!
Calling her a perv shows a big lack of wanting to understand her and what is important to her. It shows that your values system is different from hers. This does not make her wrong. There's a lot of judgment coming across in the way that you wrote your original post. If a person you are with clashes with your fundamental values system (ie,you think they are a perv and don't like how they express their sexuality), you are likely not a good match. Remember that next time, and try not to control other people or make them feel guilty for how they naturally are. I got fucked up so badly trying to change myself in that first relationship, letting myself be made to think there was something wrong with me just because I liked to masturbate and kiss other girls. These things are not fundamentally wrong, just different from some.