ralphie250,
I really, really, hate to break it to you, but there is some really idiotic advice in here. "Just shove a plastic cock up her ass." "Just bring a lesbian home." Really???
These...ahem...solutions would be the extremely rare exception. Why don't we tackle the rule. Frankly, it sounds to me like you are being lazy in life, health, and relationship.
I'm going out on a limb here, so you can correct me if I am wrong. Get off the couch and engage in life with your wife and child. Play with them, relive being a 3-year-old with your 3-year-old. Get in the kitchen and cook with your wife. Fold clothes together. Don't do these things as a means to an end (sex). Do them to lessen her burden, so she isn't tired all of the time. Do them because it will naturally create channels of communication where, after weeks of light banter and good hard work, a conduit is opened up to discuss more difficult subjects. Do them because you owe it to her to be the best husband possible. She picked you out 3 billion. Yes, you owe it to her.
You will find that when you focus your energy on creative ways to give to your relationship rather than creative ways to receive - virtually everything falls into place. And how about dropping 50 lbs by Christmas? Bet you can't, you chicken shit!
