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I think I spoke about this in a few other places, but this is just my own view and experiences
I was quite homophobic in a childish way up until 16 (like I used to call people "faggot" or "queer" just as a generic insult, had a natural prejudice against homosexuals. I had never known someone who was openly gay or who I knew to be gay at that time. At 16 I punched a guy in a Business Studies class just cos he called me queer. Then I changed school and there was a teacher there I really liked and admired. I found out he was gay, and it made me think of the stupid way I would act and feel quite ashamed of it to think how I must make him feel ashamed and he probably considered me a cunt. I didnt really ever openly talk to him about it, but I started wearing a red "AIDs awareness" ribbon around school and stopped using those terms as simple insults... because it was the only way I could think to express myself as I wasnt big enough to apologise. I dont know if he ever knew he changed my opinions (or made me face up to the stupidity of them), but I think there was some degree of mutual respect between us anyway.
After that Ive had a few mates through football and work that were gay. Also my mother decided to become gay after she divorced my dad. I dont really like to think about my mothers sex life in any case (before or after the change) and as for the mates I had, I just always looked at them as guys I knew, to talk about football with, go for a beer with, etc. I never really had any conversation with them about what it was like to be gay or what they liked to do... it really isnt something I like to think about personally or have any interest in, and I think its their own business and none of mine.
Of the 4 or 5 people I have been friends with who are openly gay, none of them really were radically camp or walked around in hot pants and talked in a funny voice etc. One guy was quite emotional and actually had a real "mothering" instinct... but he wasnt massively camp
My view is that most ordinary gay people arent especially camp, dont necessarily love Madonna and Kylie etc... anymore than most straight guys dont wolf whistle at women in the street and shave their heads and fist fight every Saturday night... it just a stereotype.
Insofar as people do act up to the stereotype, I guess its a kind of defiance.
I dont really know if its a good way to describe, but say if liking brunette women was considered abnormal, and Id know since I was 10 I liked brunettes better than blondes and covered it up till I was 21, and I had to put up with insults and disrespect... I can understand the logic of being over the top, of being defiant, of being right up in people's faces and saying "I like brunettes, fuck you if you dont like it, do you want a fight about it you wanker?" etc
If youre straight and you never have to hide your romantic and sexual feelings cos they arent considered normal, i think its hard to understand the kind emotion it could build up inside of you.
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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."
The Gospel of Thomas
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