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Traditional rules of etiquette hold that if you are sick with anything contagious, even the common cold, you should stay home. These days, most of us push ourselves much harder than that, but it's a matter of courtesy. As for the insecurity, I've seen some self-reinforcing patterns in your behavior over the years you've been a member here and I think that it would be a big help for you to sit down at least once or twice with a psychologist and discuss the insecurity if it interferes with your day-to-day life. Some authoritative advice from a professional could very well kick start you on the way to being a much happier, healthier person.
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