pan6467

In both my marriages I was a procrastinator that drove both wives nuts. However neither one were saints in that department. I wouldn't say much except, when they would push me, then it would be me asking why they hadn't done their part. Not mature for either of us, nor was it healthy, hence EX wives.

This could also be you in that as you put it:

You wait and see what you SO does....... did you do your part? Maybe subconciously you are not prepared for someone living with you and this makes it easy to get out of the situation. "They don't live up to their tasks, I want to remain on good terms with the landlord soooooooooo they got to go." So what is more important, how your SO handles things or your relationship with the landlord? If it's your SO then you wouldn't wait 2 weeks, you'd make sure it got done, via being open and saying "if you can't do this then I think you have issues and am not sure we can continue."

If you care more about what your landlord thinks then unfortunately, ..... nothing your SO does will work. Maybe that's the problem your SO feels you value that relationship and your appearance more than them.

Or it could be as the relationship becomes more and more serious the 2 of you are noticing things you saw before but could in essence over look because both of you weren't living together. Now that you are and you have a more extreme closeness those "little things" are far more noticeable and you can't overlook them because that is not how you want your SO to be. In which case it's time to back the relationship up and maintain a distance.

My experience says you need to open lines of communication and tell your SO this, and in return they may say some unflattering things about you. But as long as you can communicate and progress is made by both sides, you should be okay. If progress isn't made and you have attempted everything, then end it because nothing will ever change, that is my experience.

In both my marriages we would argue over something we didn't like about each other and expect change and wait and wait and not see change and as we waited tensions rose and we'd have explosions. I was as bad as they were in this area.

Just my thoughts on the situation. Good luck.

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I just love people who use the excuse "I use/do this because I LOVE the feeling/joy/happiness it brings me" and expect you to be ok with that as you watch them destroy their life blindly following. My response is, "I like to put forks in an eletrical socket, just LOVE that feeling, can't ever get enough of it, so will you let me put this copper fork in that electric socket?"