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Its not really easy to justify. I do understand that my employer doesnt even care if I have a Facebook account or not. In fact are not likely to notice one way or another. I just am friends with a lot of people at work on FB, and I was going to put something on there and decided I couldnt cos it would just get to my boss or whatever so I deleted the account.
I understand that I am not completely hopeless and or helpess, that I still have to justify my actions to myself; but at the same time I probably do have some issues in terms of my personality. I am incredibly over sensitive and insecure. All the time I imagine that people are laughing at me behind my back, or that I have offended people without me knowing why.
My whole adult life (since maybe 14) I have suffered irrational mood swings over things like this that to everyone else seem insignificant. On a rational level I understand probably my bosses boss just told him "he looks like shit, cant you just tell him to go home". but there is a voice in the back of my head always telling me "they all think youre a cunt, why dont you tell them to fuck off?"
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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."
The Gospel of Thomas
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