Is this the Hot or Not thread?
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I kinda disagree with Martian here. I think good looks offer an incredibly fleeting social bonus. They're not charisma.
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Originally Posted by Martian
I don't think it's the attractiveness itself so much as (and not to parrot others, but) the confidence that comes along with it.
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First: What's attractive? I mean, attractiveness is such a broad, subjective topic. Electrodes-on-the-head
SCIENCE! has shown that people tend to find physically fit people with high levels of body symmetry (especially the face) more attractive than others. The definition of being handsome or beautiful changes, but being a masculine male and feminine female tends to help. From the judging-your-peers side, I'll go out on a limb and suggest that there aren't too many American males that would say that popular big name movie stars like Christian Bale / Denzel Washington / Brad Pitt are unattractive.
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Originally Posted by Martian
Act confident and in charge, people will naturally follow you. They'll assume you know something or have something they don't, and just let you do your thing.
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I see this as separate from from looks. Example: Steven Tyler. He looks like a fucking muppet. My exwife said she would have to screw him if the chance presented itself. I asked her, "Why him of all people?" "It's not what he looks like, it's what he does." Also, there is that thread I posted a year or two back that had that survey/study/whatever findings to do with higher marriage satisfaction / success rates in couples where the woman was substantially more attractive than the man. This might be another symptom of "All Women Must Be Beautiful," but I see it as useful in this thread because we obviously have different standards for success if a 5 Star woman marries a 3 Star man and they're some kind of no-shit really-happy epic power couple.
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Originally Posted by Martian
People who are less attractive and know it tend to be more shy and less confident. They don't make eye contact as often, they speak softly, they project hesitance and uncertainty. This makes people unwilling or unable to let them direct conversation or interactions.
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Vast generalizations that I find to be incorrect. I have mediocre looks at best. I've been told that I'm unattractive by both women and men and it's probably because I'm the second worst combination of male features: really scrawny with weak facial features. I know I look really awkward regardless of what I'm doing or how I'm doing it simply based on my physical features. This doesn't change the fact that I can make eye contact like an interrogator and I'm not afraid to make sure everybody in a room can hear me. I know a lot of dudes like this: kinda bland on the outside and a wrecking crew on the inside. They're military guys. I think it's a cop out to say pretty boys are more assertive. I've seen plenty of timid pussies with lucky facial geometry. Pit average looking guys against the more attractive guys on TFP, for example. I think confidence has more to do with upbringing and training than looks for most people. Looks don't hurt obviously, but that's like saying changing a product's packaging makes the product experience better for everyone. Initial interest vs. longevity. That leads into "attractive in the first 10 seconds, attractive after the first 10 minutes" thing. I've met plenty of women that were smoking hot at first glance. Given a conversation and a closer look, underneath the makeup and push-up bra and facade of confidence brittle enough to break with a single joke about their waistline is someone who is ugly on the inside (lack of confidence), but only because they believe it. We are what we do and that's based on what we believe. I haven't let people telling me that I'm built like a goofy cartoon character keep me from doing X, Y and Z.
Baraka, Charlatan, Skafe and other TFP guys may be more attractive, but they can't do PowerPoint presentation in front of 100 people like me.
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Originally Posted by Martian
People who are attractive and know it, on the other hand, are generally not afraid of drawing attention to themselves. They tend to have better posture, tend to keep their head up and meet the gaze of others more frequently, project their voices more and so on.
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Again, this is attitude. Real confidence? Fake confidence? Who's puffed up on bullshit? Who's really got the giant brass balls?
You know who's got confidence? The ugly motherfucker that knows he's ugly and is okay with it. He compensates for it.
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Ugh, I totally pulled a Xerxys and got lost along the way while writing all this drivel, but I hope I made some useful points. I'm tired.
I guess if you define attractiveness as a still image of a person in comparison to other people it's pretty straightforward.
It's a much, much larger conversation when you start interacting with people, though.