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Redlemon · 03-02-2011, 07:24 AM

OK, I'm going to try to see this from her perspective, and I'm going to recap as much as I can from what you have posted.

You two are married and have been together for four years. About a year ago, you were diagnosed with testicular cancer, and the recovery has been very difficult. Your relationship has changed from that of lover to lover to that of caregiver to patient. This can be a huge strain on a marriage.

Additionally, the testicular cancer has impacted your ability to have sex (I'm not sure to what extent). In a poor decision on her part, she looked elsewhere for sex, and got it. She knows that the screwed up, and came and admitted it to you. You reacted coldly, and (to give you room to think? out of fear?) she went to the other guy's house while you processed your thoughts.

You still love her. She is not looking to dump you, perhaps she still loves you, since she is suggesting that you still live together.

So... now what? Has your treatments completely destroyed your sexuality? Have you two been doing anything together sexually? Can the use of toys or perhaps a strap-on allow you to still give her penetrative sex?

What if she still loved and cared for you, and she still went to this other guy for an occasional fuck? Sex, while important, is not necessarily the only part of a marriage. There have been stranger arrangements made by other people.

03-02-2011, 07:24 AM	#32 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	OK, I'm going to try to see this from her perspective, and I'm going to recap as much as I can from what you have posted. You two are married and have been together for four years. About a year ago, you were diagnosed with testicular cancer, and the recovery has been very difficult. Your relationship has changed from that of lover to lover to that of caregiver to patient. This can be a huge strain on a marriage. Additionally, the testicular cancer has impacted your ability to have sex (I'm not sure to what extent). In a poor decision on her part, she looked elsewhere for sex, and got it. She knows that the screwed up, and came and admitted it to you. You reacted coldly, and (to give you room to think? out of fear?) she went to the other guy's house while you processed your thoughts. You still love her. She is not looking to dump you, perhaps she still loves you, since she is suggesting that you still live together. So... now what? Has your treatments completely destroyed your sexuality? Have you two been doing anything together sexually? Can the use of toys or perhaps a strap-on allow you to still give her penetrative sex? What if she still loved and cared for you, and she still went to this other guy for an occasional fuck? Sex, while important, is not necessarily the only part of a marriage. There have been stranger arrangements made by other people. __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.