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Originally Posted by Hulk
I can’t believe she really blew the Horn of Gondor. I mean... ugh... I was just kidding.
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Originally Posted by snowy
Plan9 likes to post this a lot, and I believe it's pretty useful.
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...if you're Henry Rollins.
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Originally Posted by snowy
Cut all contact.
Delete Facebook.
Hit the gym.
Fuck strangers.
Hang with bros.
Remain calm.
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It does work, but it doesn't actually help the injury. It's a distraction, it's a band-aid on a gunshot wound. It's that piece of rawhide between your teeth when they saw off your leg. After you're done playing "This Isn't Happening," the hole in your chest (er, life) is still there. This just buys time to calm.
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Originally Posted by Snowy
That's pretty much all you can do--do you really want to get wrapped up in someone who cheated on you? There is always the possibility they will do it again, and do you really want to spend your time on someone when that thought is in that back of your mind?
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It's easy to get wrapped up in someone that cheated on you. You wanna know
why. You wanna know
how they justified it. You wanna know what
you could have done differently, even if it was obviously X, Y and Z the whole time. I've been there many times. And though the conventional wisdom isn't to try to question a knife out of your back (just pull the motherfucker out and slap a bandage on the wound, possibly an occlusive dressing) it doesn't help the system shock of someone betraying you. Not having them in your face is good, but it doesn't heal anything. The forward process is 1-2-3 outlined in those steps... remove the person from your life (cut all contact, delete Facebook), keep your body challenged to keep your brain busy (hit the gym, fuck girls off OkCupid) and don't become a recluse (find bros, hang with bros). Avoiding rash behavior such as sending angry "I Feel" or ultimatum emails. It's pointless desperation and won't benefit you in the long run even if it feels better to get the vitriol out of your soul. Put your energy into you.
If that means sitting on the couch and drinking heavily and growing a substantial hobo beard, do it. Give yourself some down time to wallow. That's fine.
But pick a date to Man Up (TM). Make sure
you stay in control of when
you get better. You control the wallowing, you control the healing.
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Know that there is no closure. There is no closure. There is no closure. There is no closure. What did I just say?
There is no goddamn closure.
This is absolutely critical. Make it your mantra. You may never be able to understand and accept her reasons. So don't try to make sense of it.
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Let us know how things are going, Hulk. May you find solace in knowing that a lot of us here have gone through the exact same thing.
I've been through this issue twice in the last five years. First it was my wife, then it was a long term girlfriend. I'm too stupid to see it coming.
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I'd follow the advice laid out here, bro. Cover your ass financially, remain calm and develop a plan to Ditch the Bitch (TM) ASAP.
Come at this like a cunning divorce lawyer. Figure out your financial and property vulnerabilities and secure them immediately.
Get her away from you or get yourself away from her. If you need to shack up somewhere else, do it. Don't be her doormat.
If there is a way to get her out of the house (perhaps a good old fashioned legal threat of some sort), play that card soon.