mixedmedia

This was inspired by a blog entry, but I didn't want to sully up someone's personal space with a discussion.

I am framing it as a gender issue, but I am aware that it might not be. I welcome contributions from men and women to help shed some light on this particular bit of break-up advice.

Do men really feel ready to fuck someone else immediately after breaking up? Or is it something you feel you have to force yourself to do? Like a rite of passage of some sort?

Just curious, because I don't understand it. I've just broken up with someone recently and I don't feel 'unsexy' or not horny (to the contrary, actually) but I don't feel like having sex with someone just for the sake of having sex is going to make me feel any better, either. It's not going to make me feel like I am moving on. It's not going to speed up the process of becoming 'neutral' about it.

So please tell me, frankly, Have you ever had break-up sex?
What does 'break-up sex' do for you - physically and/or psychologically?
How does it help you move on? Does it help?
And what motivates it - spite? anger?...or something more complicated, like grief?

And be honest, please, I promise not to get judgmental and pissy. I'm really just curious, since it seems to be a pretty pervasive idea.

Thanks.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce