Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Drinking in Front of Non-Drinkers

bagatelle · 02-22-2011, 02:13 AM

It's weird about some family relationships. My hubby has an uncle, who turned to a different religion than the rest of the family. He has annoyed his sisters and old mother by trying to convert them to his religion, or sect rather.

He had a quarrelsome divorce earlier, ex-wife left with two daughters. The women in the family seemed to blame the ex-wife, but apparently she found it hard to live with the man, who has been commented by many different people having odd habits. Later this uncle found the new religion, married and had one more daughter.

In addition to following the strict rules how to hallow their sabbath, which is on Saturday opposed to rest of the family having this on Sunday, he is very strict of what they eat, no meat, no coffee, no alcohol, which is not a big issue in the family though. But the daughter is forbidden any sweets too. Yet whenever this uncle's family visits the grandmother - he may meet his sisters there - these women have given the girl sweets and candy behind her father's back. Teaching her to lie to his father.

I find this an control issue of sorts. One of these sisters is my mother-in-law and she has tried to do the same with our sons, when they were young: disregard our wishes how to treat our kids, not that we had any extreme "rules" though, but her attitude was pretty much like that - she knows best how to raise kids of their brother or son.

On the other hand these women have doubts regarding the uncle being able to bring up these kids properly, because his habits are so different to theirs and he has also tried to convert these women to his life style. So kids become instruments in their fight of correct viewpoints.

There's some similarity here with the woman in OP. She thinks the father is not teaching tolerance to his children, yet she's not showing tolerance herself.

Maybe it's not really about the alcohol at all, it's an issue about control over kids. Plus she may really have difficulties keeping off the liquor for a few days.

btw - If drinking in her room is suggested, why not then drink at the present of the children and tell it's not alcohol...

Like Charlatan above says, we don't know the people in question well enough.

02-22-2011, 02:13 AM	#32 (permalink)
bagatelle Psycho Location: Europe	It's weird about some family relationships. My hubby has an uncle, who turned to a different religion than the rest of the family. He has annoyed his sisters and old mother by trying to convert them to his religion, or sect rather. He had a quarrelsome divorce earlier, ex-wife left with two daughters. The women in the family seemed to blame the ex-wife, but apparently she found it hard to live with the man, who has been commented by many different people having odd habits. Later this uncle found the new religion, married and had one more daughter. In addition to following the strict rules how to hallow their sabbath, which is on Saturday opposed to rest of the family having this on Sunday, he is very strict of what they eat, no meat, no coffee, no alcohol, which is not a big issue in the family though. But the daughter is forbidden any sweets too. Yet whenever this uncle's family visits the grandmother - he may meet his sisters there - these women have given the girl sweets and candy behind her father's back. Teaching her to lie to his father. I find this an control issue of sorts. One of these sisters is my mother-in-law and she has tried to do the same with our sons, when they were young: disregard our wishes how to treat our kids, not that we had any extreme "rules" though, but her attitude was pretty much like that - she knows best how to raise kids of their brother or son. On the other hand these women have doubts regarding the uncle being able to bring up these kids properly, because his habits are so different to theirs and he has also tried to convert these women to his life style. So kids become instruments in their fight of correct viewpoints. There's some similarity here with the woman in OP. She thinks the father is not teaching tolerance to his children, yet she's not showing tolerance herself. Maybe it's not really about the alcohol at all, it's an issue about control over kids. Plus she may really have difficulties keeping off the liquor for a few days. btw - If drinking in her room is suggested, why not then drink at the present of the children and tell it's not alcohol... Like Charlatan above says, we don't know the people in question well enough. __________________ Life is... Last edited by bagatelle; 02-22-2011 at 09:09 AM..