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Being only average size (7"), I have nonetheless been with women who'd never had children who weren't snug, and women who had who apparently done the "Kegels" you all are talking about who were wonderfully tight. The worst one was a few years ago, she had 2 grown kids, and after an hour of frantic going at it, I actually faked a climax to have it over with! (She had multiples and wanted more from me, and getting shut of her is another story, not a good one.) So, yes, we can tell. Some of us do try to take care of ourselves, keeping fit and honing our techniques. Please, kind ladies, return the favors and exercise your PC muscle, so that we may BOTH have a fine old time when we get together!
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