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If she has such issues with sex and shuts down when the subject of sex is brought up just concerning her, she is very unlikely to listen to a discussion about her husband having sex with someone else. If she already has issues concerning sex, telling her he wants to find it elsewhere will only add insult to injury and may even cause her to shut down more. I don't think he wants to scar his wife in that way.
Also, is doesn't sound like the OP is looking to just get more sex, but instead is genuinely looking to understand his wifes sexual nature better in hopes for more sex with her.
Opening up a marriage or any relationship to polyamory, having play partner, or any other form of open relationship should not be due to one person being unhappy with the current situation. An open relationship needs to be agreed upon by both partners. Suggesting such a thing simply because one is not getting as much sex as they want seems like a very bad idea and possibly the start to a discussion of splitting up. I agree that both partners need to work on sexual issues and both should work to making it a relationship that is enjoyed by all involved. Polyamory is about sharing love with more partners and can only work when everyone is satisfied and feels equally important to the dynamic (whatever it may be).
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Frivolity, at the edge of a Moral Swamp, hears Hymn-Singing in the Distance and dons the Galoshes of Remorse. ~Edward Gorey
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