|
What's left for you? Well, I could blather on about sunshine and puppies, but neither of us would believe it - you because it's me and me because I don't believe it either.
What seems clear to me is that your doctors have failed you. If this is where you are after 5 years, clearly they've fucked up. I think that you need to print out your post and show it to your doctor(s). My guess is that they just don't have a clue where your head is.
What's left for you is that you owe to the rest of us to keep going. You reached out to us. Levite, who's proven to everyone here without a shadow of a doubt that he's a better man than I, reached back. Pan reached back. You owe to both of them to keep going. What would it do to them if you kill yourself? You're not that selfish, dude.
Listen to GG, too. She's on to something, I think. There are things you can do, ways you can help others. No magic bullets, bud. Just hard work. But there's payoff in that work.
These are your feelings and that makes them valid. No one else is in your head with you. A girlfriend or a friend that blows your phone up every day to do stuff isn't going to fix you. You're right - you have a disability. But it's not permanent and you're not alone. This isn't a "rah-rah" post, and you can't just rub some dirt on it and walk it off. But if you can get your doctors to either realize they aren't helping or find ones that will, you can start feeling better.
There's a member here that's a quadripligic. He hasn't walked in decades and never held one of his kids. He's also one of the funniest motherfuckers here. He's got a disability that might kill him without any effort on his part. Think about that - you can live with a disability and still be liked and respected.
__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo
|