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I am not sure which forum to post in but I think this one is correct. This thread was written in response to one I had posted in another forum.This is the route I chose regarding a counselor.It would be hard to find a counselor and sneak away from my business for appointments without my wife finding out.I decided to come completely clean with her regarding my needs and wants in marriage and how her sister fills the empty spots.At first she thought I planned to leave her but I reassured her I had no intention of that.I only want both of us to live happy fullfilled lives.She seemed genuinely suprised that we had a problem.I explained to her that I was suprised she was oblivious to the problem(although she was uncomfortable with the relationship I have with her sister).I haven't been sleeping at night,lost 20 lbs. in 2 months(have never been overweight to begin with) and spend waaaaay too much time with her sister.I also told her that our marriage of 22 years has become stagnent.We are so busy that we never concentrate on our relationship and I had no intention of spending the rest of my life this way.She was very receptive and wants to make it better.I talked to her about couples counceling or individual counceling.Both of us will do either if we have too.In the interim,I bought some relationship books that we are both reading.I have finished two of them.My perspective is completely different now.Our communication is much better.She has just started to read the books.I will see how we do,continue to look for a councelor to help us and I am very relieved that she now knows exactly how I feel.I did not want to do counceling without her knowledge.I hope this is a proper path to take as I have never been in this position before.
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