Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Struggling to decide whether to cut ties with ex temporarily? (LONG)

Shauk · 01-29-2011, 01:33 AM

I guess I'll play the other side of the fence here. Everyone is on the delete and forget it bandwagon on this site, it makes me wonder how people maintain their friendships when anything goes wrong.

Personally, I'm friends with damn near all of my exes. It's hard to dose up the amount of maturity it takes to manage a friendship and accept it for JUST that without letting all the chemical reaction bruhaha in your head send you spiraling back to that comfort zone of physical contact with them when you DO get to hang out again.

I mean lets face it, if there wasn't a basis of at LEAST a friendship, it would have never advanced to being a possible relationship.

Breaking up doesn't really mean the end, someone who's known you for that long, can be a good source of advice, and can use your advice as well.

As for why all of a sudden he doesn't have the emotions for you now? Hard to say, it's happened to me before for no reason. I was all about this girl and one day it just shut down. I don't know if it was fear, or maybe deep down I knew I could do better. She was a great person and she had never done anything wrong, but something was missing I guess.

Honestly though if this is the desired outcome: a breakup with friendship ties, you can't pussyfoot around it. The best thing you can do to mentally fortify that it's over is do your best to push/inspire them in to their next relationship and hope they do the same in return.

Just because you're not meant to be the "love of his life" or vice versa doesn't mean there isn't capability of friendship.

It's a lot easier to shut the doors and board up the windows, delete people from phone/facebook, put your fingers in your ears and go "lalalala" this person doesn't exist but that's always seemed like a grade school tactic to me. Seems like there should be a more adult way of handling ones personal affairs.

Funny thing is, if you can make yourself stop caring, you can at least tell how sincere someone is by how often they stay in touch with you once the sex is out of the picture.

It's funny how some girls who split with me went from wanting to see me daily or weekly to not even really wanting to talk monthly. Whereas it's the opposite with some where we talk almost every day or week now, and their either married/engaged whatever now *shrug*

01-29-2011, 01:33 AM	#15 (permalink)
Shauk Confused Adult Location: Spokane, WA	I guess I'll play the other side of the fence here. Everyone is on the delete and forget it bandwagon on this site, it makes me wonder how people maintain their friendships when anything goes wrong. Personally, I'm friends with damn near all of my exes. It's hard to dose up the amount of maturity it takes to manage a friendship and accept it for JUST that without letting all the chemical reaction bruhaha in your head send you spiraling back to that comfort zone of physical contact with them when you DO get to hang out again. I mean lets face it, if there wasn't a basis of at LEAST a friendship, it would have never advanced to being a possible relationship. Breaking up doesn't really mean the end, someone who's known you for that long, can be a good source of advice, and can use your advice as well. As for why all of a sudden he doesn't have the emotions for you now? Hard to say, it's happened to me before for no reason. I was all about this girl and one day it just shut down. I don't know if it was fear, or maybe deep down I knew I could do better. She was a great person and she had never done anything wrong, but something was missing I guess. Honestly though if this is the desired outcome: a breakup with friendship ties, you can't pussyfoot around it. The best thing you can do to mentally fortify that it's over is do your best to push/inspire them in to their next relationship and hope they do the same in return. Just because you're not meant to be the "love of his life" or vice versa doesn't mean there isn't capability of friendship. It's a lot easier to shut the doors and board up the windows, delete people from phone/facebook, put your fingers in your ears and go "lalalala" this person doesn't exist but that's always seemed like a grade school tactic to me. Seems like there should be a more adult way of handling ones personal affairs. Funny thing is, if you can make yourself stop caring, you can at least tell how sincere someone is by how often they stay in touch with you once the sex is out of the picture. It's funny how some girls who split with me went from wanting to see me daily or weekly to not even really wanting to talk monthly. Whereas it's the opposite with some where we talk almost every day or week now, and their either married/engaged whatever now shrug Last edited by Shauk; 01-29-2011 at 01:35 AM..