Quote:
Originally Posted by car guy
.My sister is law starting down a path again that will cause her emotional turmoil with her current relationship but I have vowed not to be there to pick up the pieces. No more bailing her out financially. I am going to try to put 110% back into my marriage. If I see myself failing in this, I will go to counselling because I do not want to lose my wife or family.
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Hi
First off ... respect to you for working away to do right.
Secondly, there is no need to wait until you see yourself failing before you see a counsellor. A counselling relationship can often be very productive if started at the stage you are at, rather than being thought of as a safety net 'IF you fall'.
From your last post, I see you've had a habit of being her shoulder to cry on, and also to financially bail her out. You are wanting to have more choice in that area. You will be fighting well worn habits, concerning a woman who has personality traits which your wife lacks, and which you like.
Imagine telling this to a counsellor now, so that that counsellor's first job with you is to assist you to face that challenge in a manner which respects all of you.
You will get two guaranteed outcomes:
1: You will have more choices because you and the counsellor will have examined the situation, what you want, and how to achieve it, in addition to assisting you as you explore further in your understandings of your family.
2: You will have tested the effectiveness of the counsellor whilst you are feeling resourceful, rather than phoning some stranger when 'things go bad'.