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I live in a town in Mexico that has a somewhat large Canadian population. Rumor has it a couple Canadians found this place 30 yrs ago and kept their mouth shut about it. This was probably smart on their part. I have a lot of Canadian friends. For the most part they are great group down here and I usually like hanging out with them. Usually. I say usually because just like any other culture they have their own idiosyncrasies. Some are appealing, some not so much. In the same way you can normally pick out the obnoxious American in any airport lounge within mere seconds and inviting a Mexican over to your house for a drink and be an all night experience (and he may get on the phone and invite his whole family to join in on the party) like it or not- some Canadians have habits I find annoying.
For example- going out to dinner with a large group of Canadians can be less then enjoyable. The last time (and I do mean the last time) I went out with a group of Canadians, they were approx. 30 of us and I was one of two Americans in the group. I believe each Canadian requested a separate check. This was fun to watch because most refuse to learn any Spanish and hence did not speak enough to make their intentions clear to the waiter. A lot of the Canadians have taken the attitude of "we're spending a lot of money here, our money keeps this town a float… least "they' could do is learn to speak English." First you're out numbered 500-1, your money may add to the economy but you're not keeping the town running. Second you're in their country and you don't think learning their language might make more sense? Anyway we ordered and, give or take, about 1/2 of the diners decided to try to order items not on the menu. Again the lack of Spanish did not help. Here it's almost odd to find a restaurant that actually has all the items listed on the menu available. Items not on the menu? Umm, no. You're in a small Mexican beach town if you do not like the local food you should either eat at home or drive into Merida, a much larger city, where you can find anything from Sushi to decent Italian. Announcing to the table/restaurant "I hate Mexican food, looks like someone in the kitchen already ate it for lunch and now they're trying to serve it to me" Is not polite and there is a pretty good chance someone will understand your words. When your food does arrive I will not trade plates with you.
When the check arrived it was all on one ticket, what a shock! 30 people with drinks came to about 140 USD, really not bad. I know my meal, with drink, was $4. Most of the Canadians went into panic mode. "Who had what?" "Who owes what?" "How the heck are we supposed to figure this out?" "No kidding, it's all in Spanish (again, big shock!)" Someone, a Canadian, suggested we just divide the bill evenly. That was fine with me but was met with death stares from several people. After 20mins of "what do we do? What do we do?" It was decided to pass the check around the table and each person put in the amount they owed. That led to another 30mins of people requesting change for larger notes so they could pay exactly what they owed. The end result was a huge pile of small bills and a shit load of change. The tray the check arrived on had to be exchanged for a dinner plate and likely weighed about 5lbs. I was second to last and I put in roughly $8 for my meal plus tip. I figured if I paid double it might help offset anyone who short changed on the tip. The last guy to pay was sitting to my left and I noticed, after counting through all the cash for 15mins. And looking at the check he put in $2 for he and his wife's meals and drinks. I asked if it was covered and he assured me it was- complete with tip! I noticed the waiter counting it out and I waited to see his reaction. It did not look good. I went up and asked if it was all accounted for and was told "yes the meal is paid for?" "And the tip?' The man turned, faced me and threw his arms up stating "7 pesos, 7 pesos!" By this time the only other American there had joined me and asked if there was a problem. I told him the tip came out to 7 pesos. We each put in another $15-17 (200 pesos.) I returned to the table and the guy who had the check last asked me if there was some problem. I told him the tip only came out to 7 pesos. He said "yeah, I know I counted to make sure there was a tip." "And you thought on $140 USD check 7 peso was a reasonable tip?" "Really? 7 pesos?" "Yeah, pesos are like dollars to these people." Umm, no dollars are like dollars to these people and the wait staff in most restaurants work solely for tips. And seriously even if pesos were like dollars... $7 on a $140? Are you fucking stupid or insane? People don’t normally tip in Canada, fine I get that. But you’re not in Canada, here the wait staff depends on tips to feed their family. You want to dine out and not tip, move to a country where that is the culture… you know like Canada.
I have list in my head of Canadians I will dine out with but its way less than half of those who live here. Attend a party with them, sure, great. Enjoy a movie out with them, absolutely. Dinner out? At a restaurant? In public?… Yeah that’s not happening… never again. Rather have my balls pounded flat with a wooden mallet. I think it would be less painful and over quicker.
Another thing I will no longer do is invite Canadians over to watch hockey games. I don’t care if I do have one of the few systems that can get the games. Buy your own system; I’ll install it for free. I’ve just had one too many drunken Canadians yell stuff like “in your face, in your fucking face!” At me, in my house while eating my food and drinking my booze in regards to a game I really don’t understand, care to watch or even really like.
There are a lot of things I do enjoy about my Canadian neighbors down here but I’ve had way too many of the above two incidents to enjoy everything about all of them.
Now someone needs to starts a why Americans should either stay home or learn some culture prior to traveling thread. I could write three times the rant I just wrote on Canadians on the subject of dumbass Americans and the stupid fucking things they do. Maybe I’ll start that thread myself after lunch.
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I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo
Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club
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