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Old 01-10-2011, 04:34 PM   #9 (permalink)
jewels
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Location: Central Central Florida
Earning shitloads of money, fixing machines, running the government, styling hair, birthing babies and curing cancer ... they would all be considered productive, ya? In the spirit of the competitive world out there, I suppose that priming your kid to surpass others can be a good thing, but contentment surely has to count for something.

When kids are young, parental approval is crucial. If they grow up so blindsided, wouldn't you think they'd get lost in what the parents want to see and perhaps later find themselves confused as to what they actually want? Can they be driven too hard?

I realize that many geniuses may not have become so, but can't help but think about the untold story behind Dark Matter and similar stories we've heard.

Is it all about the Benjamins? Does success=productivity?

Platform stated, I'm a strict parent on some issues, not-so-much on others. I think routine is important for growing kids, but occasional flexibility is good. The lessons I taught were based on principles I felt would translate to reality in adult life. Whereas some parents would pull their kid out of a class because a teacher was tough on them, I'd empathize with mine, hug them but let them know they won't always be coddled by loved ones throughout life.

I read with them when they were young and they had reading time every night, were gently pushed to join clubs and become active, but their activities were ultimately their choice. If they chose to play a sport because friends played and later try to back out, they would have to tough it out until the final game.

These are the types of things I felt were most important to teach my kids. They're very intelligent girls with good but not top grades, but each has a different creative talent, scoring high on aptitude tests. (Just thought I'd mention that the middle child has a love for politics and debating. Had to get that in. ) There are other relatives that are trying to push them into competitive careers, but the girls become resentful towards the prodders. Maybe I was pushed too much in my youth and have gone to the other extreme, but it just feels right to teach them to do what feels right for them. It'd be scary to think about putting that kind of pressure on them so young. There may be some kids who will handle it well, but I have to wonder about those who won't. Let them all grow into their lives.
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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
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