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My parents started out strict, but as I got older, became less and less so, but they were never unloving. I can't speak for anyone else, but when I was young I craved structure. I wasn't just more productive when given specific tasks and schedules, but was happier and more content. As I got older and started individuating, I pushed against these boundaries and structure because developmentally it was time for me to learn how to create my own. All in all, this seems to have worked. Despite having a minor eating disorder which I've successfully kept in check for some time now and issues with depression, I'm successful by most metrics now.
Based on what I can remember from child development classes in school, while there are general rules of raising children, a lot of parenting is about parenting to the specific child. Obviously you don't beat your child or withhold physical contact with infants, as general rules, but the level of 'strictness' necessary must vary from one child to the next.
I look forward to Snowy's additional input on this.
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