zenda

I am English, and was brought up in that strict way, except that Drama and Sports were given the same serious weight as the other subjects. My school was in alignment with that kind of parenting, in fact it insisted on it and parents who did not pull their weight came under censure. It generated within me a mixture of strengths and hang ups, each of which tended to mitigate the effects of the other.


You're familiar with the concept 'The only game in town,' yes?

Well, I was an only child and the shape and size of 'town' was determined by my parents and the school. The invisible wall was created by the message 'There is nothing beyond these walls, and if there seems to be, then they are illusions - without value, and those who say otherwise are deluded' The 'games' which were presented were the 'only games', and eating and sleeping were in the service of those alone.

Enjoyment and pleasure were institutionalised as accolades for success within the games. Sadness was recognized only if it applied to ones own feelings of self-worth when having not won. Happiness and sadness for things outside that were considered to be a waste of time.

My going to university at 18 and the unexpected death of my father at 21 combined to break my 'knowledge that that was the only reality'. I had entered university carrying what I thought to be the One True Treasure chest, left realising it was a well-built box of maps, compasses and tools to make and maintain means of transport, and have spent the time since then connecting with or developing a 'self' which, in childhood, would have been burnt as a heretic.


I believe the 'Strict Parenting' method works if two main conditions are included:
1: The containing culture become strong and coherent enough to respond resourcefully to all outputs/concerns of the pupil/child. Cultures which have well organized extended family-structure, or which can clone its best functions are, in my opinion the best ones to learn how to support such 'hothouseing' of skills in the 21st century.
2: The child be given special training in the art of 'off-road navigation' ... ie the child's education pays special attention to giving it the resources to orient itself to new environments, and to give the child awareness that a powerful message such as 'This is the only game in town, and this is the only town' is a fantastic FICTON for generating excellence, but needs to be considered to be a 'conceptual tool' rather than a 'truth about reality.'

I believe our accelerating multi-culture and 'carrying technology' presents increasingly loud and insistent 'News of Difference' - compelling arguments for theReality of Existence of Other Games, and Other Towns.

Here are core questions for different kinds of games:
How well do we 'do'?
How well do we 'win' [over others]?
How well do we get along together whatever we're doing?
How happy can we be given some, all or none of the above?
?
?
... n

I value strictness/hothouseing as long as it includes these other games, and a look-ahead function to cry 'AHOY THARRR!!!!' for Games as yet Undiscovered.