Shauk

Not interested in the attacks on my character. I'm pretty sure I have a strong moral compass and I'm not taking advantage of anyone. I'm actually interested in people NOT creating drama, I simply wish to give them the chance to prove that they wont. Again, it's not my fault that they're broken and fucked up, but yes, maybe it's my fault for giving them that chance that YOU wouldn't, just because I'm far more forgiving than you may be of a situation or scenario.

As for seeing the ex, I don't really feel the need to, im just genuinely curious what she, a person I have no relationship, could have to tell me, that can only be said in person. I asked her to just tell me and get it done with but she said she wasn't comfortable saying it online or over the phone. I don't know what it could possibly be.

Manic, I'm 31, I've had my share of dating. "good women" don't really exist, hell "good people" hardly exist. It's just a matter of who's better at hiding their flaws from the inquisitive judgment of others. On the superficial plane, people dive in to makeup, fashion, and excessive hygienic rituals. On the emotional plane, people hide their damage behind a shroud of humor or diversionary activities, people bury that lost love from a lover past in a foray of one night meaningless relationships, I've been victim to that kind of shit but under that, you know they'd be a good person if they could just *stop*, then some people will even drag a spiritual connotation into the equation to explain the way they are. Lacking logic or emotion as a scapegoat, some sort of faith that lets them damage the respect they should have for another human being.

I'm not taking advantage of her, the way you state it, I only have bad things to look forward to here, at least she gains the benefit of figuring out what she actually wants, while enjoying a bond with me that she enjoys enough to seek me out (even if it's temporary, You cannot predict the outcome any more than I can, so stop shitting me and telling me "how it is" when you dont KNOW yet how it is or will be)

What you CAN honestly try and discuss here, is what kinds of things I should be asking, figuring out, considering, to get to know the real her and possibly help her learn about herself as well.

I'm pretty sure I only know her on a mostly superficial level at this point, and I'm not a superficial person. I do appreciate beauty but I've let better looking girls go for less. I only post about the significant interests, not every single interaction with every single person every single day. So please, don't even pretend to try and psychoanalyze me based on that, otherwise you'll get a very skewed and very incorrect picture.

Moving on.

To restate: I'm interested, I'm also evaluating her interest cautiously. Her interest, while verbally stated to be "lets just wait and see" is seemingly more intense than that. Lets call it "body language" but when I've heard that before, it's been with my previous relationships. While they were content to see me once a week, maybe every other week. This one. I've seen a lot of just this week alone. The night that we met
2 days later to have dinner, then later to meet her roommate (then all that stuff happened in the OP) then once she wanted me to come over at midnight or so/1am just to be her cuddle buddy for the night, tonight she texted me while she watched a scary movie, maybe cuz she wished I was there or what but she didn't want me to stop talking to her, it made me smile, it's funny. tomorrow she will be at my place after she gets off work.

in all this time, sex was only brought in to the picture once, and I freaked out and couldn't do it. So again, taking advantage of her? fuck no. I've given her time to reconsider her advances, she's setting all of this up so far.


Obviously my perspective on things has changed a bit since the 1st post, we've hung out more, I've learned a bit more about her, but in my opinion, not enough. So... if you were me, what would you do? I mean besides look in the mirror and say "gee you're a bad drama llama and taking advantage of this girl?"

If you want me to break it off then fine, I'll just go back to meaningless dates that I dont write about, but for fucks sake, can I not entertain the idea of a relationship without people getting on my fucking shit about it? Does everything have to be perfect for you people?