Shauk, here is the truth:
You are a drama llama.
You crave drama. You like the excitement drama brings. You find yourself drawn to others who create drama. You are willing to sacrifice for drama because it brings you some kind of feeling that nothing else does.
Until you admit your addiction to drama, you are going to keep going round and round and round with women like this. Your blog is a testament to your addiction to drama. You hang on to people, like your ex, long after you should have cut them loose because they create the drama you thrive off of. See your post above: you are going to see your ex again. WHY, SHAUK, WHY?! No sane, not-addicted-to-drama person would EVER see your ex again.
Please, take a moment and evaluate your need for drama. Why does it exist? Why do you do this to yourself? What's with the self-torture? What's with the overanalysis? Why do you feel the need to get into the teeny, tiny details of every interaction with another person and blow them completely out of proportion?
__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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