Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - The very complicated lesbian experience for men.

zenda · 01-06-2011, 10:46 AM

Hi Shauk

She wanted to have you meet some of her girlfriends. I assume some of them are part of her intimate support group and will therefore be party to this situation.
"Hey sister, he IS a great guy, and you ARE at present already in a relationship. If you are confused, then well done for avoiding the mistakes of premature clarity. Don't damage yourself with agonizing, but make sure to take account of ALL the elements as you get this sorted."

I've got a cautiously optimistic feeling about this, Shauk. Her response to her liking and developing love and desire for you was to straightway bring you, bright and visible, into the light and witness of her network of friends. Furthermore, she listened to the 'voice of her responsibility-threshold' before the 'morning after' or the week after.

And you, well, you're not just attracted to her, your attracted to her seriously enough to sit this through with her, shoulder to shoulder, giving this the weight it deserves - teasing apart the strands, to identify and do the right thing.

I think you'll be unlikely to fall into or be pulled into that 'Justification Trap' about which Cimarron warns. 'Confused Adult' is beneath your avatar and that lets me guess that you have highly developed skills of exploring, and, like she, a commendable inability to quietly take easy options for immediate gratification.

In fact, at the moment, it looks to me like you're number one candidate for being one of the best male friends she could have at this very confusing time in her life. My ex-wife struggled for many years with issues of gender-identity which resolved into gender-preference. I struggled alongside her, and sometimes I was a genuinely strong right arm, and sometimes a hurt and selfish child. I wish she and I had had friends like you back there then, for you're not likely to underestimate or undervalue any of this and you have my respect.

01-06-2011, 10:46 AM	#5 (permalink)
zenda Crazy Location: London, England	Hi Shauk She wanted to have you meet some of her girlfriends. I assume some of them are part of her intimate support group and will therefore be party to this situation. "Hey sister, he IS a great guy, and you ARE at present already in a relationship. If you are confused, then well done for avoiding the mistakes of premature clarity. Don't damage yourself with agonizing, but make sure to take account of ALL the elements as you get this sorted." I've got a cautiously optimistic feeling about this, Shauk. Her response to her liking and developing love and desire for you was to straightway bring you, bright and visible, into the light and witness of her network of friends. Furthermore, she listened to the 'voice of her responsibility-threshold' before the 'morning after' or the week after. And you, well, you're not just attracted to her, your attracted to her seriously enough to sit this through with her, shoulder to shoulder, giving this the weight it deserves - teasing apart the strands, to identify and do the right thing. I think you'll be unlikely to fall into or be pulled into that 'Justification Trap' about which Cimarron warns. 'Confused Adult' is beneath your avatar and that lets me guess that you have highly developed skills of exploring, and, like she, a commendable inability to quietly take easy options for immediate gratification. In fact, at the moment, it looks to me like you're number one candidate for being one of the best male friends she could have at this very confusing time in her life. My ex-wife struggled for many years with issues of gender-identity which resolved into gender-preference. I struggled alongside her, and sometimes I was a genuinely strong right arm, and sometimes a hurt and selfish child. I wish she and I had had friends like you back there then, for you're not likely to underestimate or undervalue any of this and you have my respect.