Janie

There is this person, let's call him my boyfriend, who misses me and wants me to come see him. It's a transcontinental flight which I can't afford because I am between jobs. He has offered to pay for the ticket himself, which makes me extremely uncomfortable.

I have never liked people spending money on me, and he is aware of this fact. I have indicated that I don't feel comfortable with him buying me the plane ticket, but this has degenerated into a fight.

It's not that I don't want to visit him, but I would like it to be my choice of either accepting or not accepting the ticket. My choice of either going or not going to see him. Visiting him hadn't even crossed my mind, especially since he just visited Vancouver for Christmas. Now that he has put the offer on the table, I feel like I have no choice but to accept.

I have tried to explain it to him in terms that he would understand, but he is finding it very difficult to accept my reluctance. Of course I'm not helping things, because it upsets me extremely that he can't take no for an answer on this issue. Consequently I can't remain calm and rational.

This isn't the first time we have had a fight about this. Last time (six months ago) I simply gave in and very much regretted doing so. It caused me to lose out on several weeks of wages. I gave that as the reason for my reluctance, and he offered to give me money equivalent to the wages I would be losing out on. I declined.

What is the deal here? Am I freaking out for no reason?

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