Quote:
Originally Posted by ring
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The same gene is responsible for Sensory Integration & Autism; so I have read in a few
different places.
How does one practice forgetting?
Is it possible to control the filters just enough to function
& exist in a bit more placid state, without entirely forgetting?
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It makes sense to not want to entirely forget, I reckon we never know which part of our experience-base might be 'the' crucial bit one day, no matter how pleasant or unpleasant. It also makes sense to not want to lose function by remaining immersed or constantly dragged back into the feelings or images of an era or event.
What I try is to add other stuff to what I want to forget or move beyond. I add stuff that I want to remember, stuff that is compelling and linked to my present values and desires for the future, such as Safety. For example, my traumatic memory "Arrrgh" of a dog which jumped me from the end of its lead as its owner and I passed each other on a narrow sidewalk, may become added to "Hey I'm looking after myself well at this moment," when, in future, I make sure the owner passes BETWEEN me and the dog whenever I'm on a narrow sidewalk. This may to generalize to future situations involving people with their pet panthers, monitor lizards or unruly children ... or with nasty looking heavy bags-on-wheels. Eventually, my picture and feelings of that dog-event become a highly significant, but very small part of a collage of related pictures containing positive events and possibilities. No longer ' in my face', it gains its true value in the tapestry of my life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bagatelle
...... How do you people take those colleagues or family members, who always rely on others knowing and remembering things?
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When I was in a horrid and wound-licking part of my life - divorced about 16 years ago, my friends were my safety net. Everything on my 'inside' was agony and my memory and thinking were fragmented. I did need others to 'do it for me'. Some friends could stand it, but some I lost. I subsequently had to develop a skill I'd never realized existed: HOW to look after my support group. How to be a good passenger when I need a ride, and how to help them to stay within THEIR safe limits even when they're in 'emergency alert' on my behalf.
I don't like it when someone stops a group conversation in it's tracks for fifteen minutes because they can't remember the name of a film they wish to use as an example to illustrate their point. However, if someone's relying on me for memory and knowledge, I'll always strive to find out what's going on with them ... cos, though I might feel a bit put-upon, I don't want to let someone fall if I'm a necessary crutch for them at that time.