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zenda · 01-03-2011, 12:24 AM

Hi Woohog

Looking like there are two 'tips' of an iceberg centring around the TV and , given your other thread, thoughts and reasons for long-term food storage. Which other areas of your life are matters for discussion between you?

Reading above, I can see the point about the 'control' aspect of a teacher coming back from work and forgetting to 'switch off' a work-authority function.

I also can make sense of an apparently one-sided TV habit when she gets home, as being a well-needed remedial switch-off ... her control of the TV being her way of switching off having to control/protect/educate everything else. A way of relinquishing control which she needs, vividly and on a big screen. I have mind-read here freely, to present you with ONE possibility of 'reasonable reason' why she might be doing this specific behaviour, and hoping this might shake loose in your mind some additional possibilities of why she does this .... because it's highly unlikely she's intentionally wanting to p you off ... any more than you want to p HER off with your food storing. Your getting a second large screen TV or the thought that she might simply actually need it COULD be a good idea

And there are times when what drives a person can be very different from what we initially feel. For example, it's mentioned that when it comes to TV program choosing, then in HER map of the world 'Something "WE" both like' means what 'SHE likes'.

Let's look at this. There COULD be a simple 'I'm in charge and I don't care what you want' and 'if you complain, then your just being nasty', HOWEVER ... another possibility is that she might have a very strong concept of 'us'. that that concept of 'us' might be a very strong driver, especially when coming home after a day of 'being teacher' and looking after 'them over there'. "Phew, I'm Home - now WE ARE TOGETHER and can have OUR evening"

The story could be "We are 'one', so if you're liking something different, then I feel threatened because it does not feel like 'me', because as far as I am concerned, 'me' is part of 'us'." And heck ... that lifetime channel ... I'm in England, but isn't it all about relationships and people doing what they can to get along together etc?

Obviously, I'm reverse-engineering a lot out of the little you've got time and space to put on a forum thread, and my guessing's my present best shot at parting a few strands to see more clearly, so for a moment, if you were to step back from the TV and discussions around food-storage and other domestic issues, and someone were to ask you to explore in global terms each of these questions 'Where are you at? Where is she at? Where are you AND she at? and Where are the BOTH of you at?', where'd those take you? And then what's it like when you consider the answers to all those questions together?

And aside from those areas, I wonder in what other areas are you different from her, in thought, feeling and behaviour, to what extent does she notice, or do YOU feel noticed, and to what extent does she comment? And how much do you and she get to talk anyway?

01-03-2011, 12:24 AM	#12 (permalink)
zenda Crazy Location: London, England	Hi Woohog Looking like there are two 'tips' of an iceberg centring around the TV and , given your other thread, thoughts and reasons for long-term food storage. Which other areas of your life are matters for discussion between you? Reading above, I can see the point about the 'control' aspect of a teacher coming back from work and forgetting to 'switch off' a work-authority function. I also can make sense of an apparently one-sided TV habit when she gets home, as being a well-needed remedial switch-off ... her control of the TV being her way of switching off having to control/protect/educate everything else. A way of relinquishing control which she needs, vividly and on a big screen. I have mind-read here freely, to present you with ONE possibility of 'reasonable reason' why she might be doing this specific behaviour, and hoping this might shake loose in your mind some additional possibilities of why she does this .... because it's highly unlikely she's intentionally wanting to p you off ... any more than you want to p HER off with your food storing. Your getting a second large screen TV or the thought that she might simply actually need it COULD be a good idea And there are times when what drives a person can be very different from what we initially feel. For example, it's mentioned that when it comes to TV program choosing, then in HER map of the world 'Something "WE" both like' means what 'SHE likes'. Let's look at this. There COULD be a simple 'I'm in charge and I don't care what you want' and 'if you complain, then your just being nasty', HOWEVER ... another possibility is that she might have a very strong concept of 'us'. that that concept of 'us' might be a very strong driver, especially when coming home after a day of 'being teacher' and looking after 'them over there'. "Phew, I'm Home - now WE ARE TOGETHER and can have OUR evening" The story could be "We are 'one', so if you're liking something different, then I feel threatened because it does not feel like 'me', because as far as I am concerned, 'me' is part of 'us'." And heck ... that lifetime channel ... I'm in England, but isn't it all about relationships and people doing what they can to get along together etc? Obviously, I'm reverse-engineering a lot out of the little you've got time and space to put on a forum thread, and my guessing's my present best shot at parting a few strands to see more clearly, so for a moment, if you were to step back from the TV and discussions around food-storage and other domestic issues, and someone were to ask you to explore in global terms each of these questions 'Where are you at? Where is she at? Where are you AND she at? and Where are the BOTH of you at?', where'd those take you? And then what's it like when you consider the answers to all those questions together? And aside from those areas, I wonder in what other areas are you different from her, in thought, feeling and behaviour, to what extent does she notice, or do YOU feel noticed, and to what extent does she comment? And how much do you and she get to talk anyway?