I see a recent discussion on good boy's names, and thought that, rather than jacking that thread with my propaganda, I'd start another one. I have very strong opinions on the topic of naming children, which can be boiled down to three rules:
- It must have one correct unambiguous pronunciation, obvious at a glance when read
- It must have (and use) a unambiguously correct spelling, obvious immediately when heard
- It must not be in the top N (10/20/50/100) names on the SSN registry for the most recent year
I may have espoused these sentiments previously, but I feel like I should clarify them and add to some of the reasoning behind these rules.
Rule 1: Pronunciation.
Good: David, Janet, Caesar, Apple
Bad: Garolde, Nevaeh, Maciej, Anja, Abcde
Edge case: Jacqueline (jak-leen, jak-lin, jak-uh-lin)
What you name your child will stick with them their whole lives (unless it is positively wretched, in which case they will shed it immediately). They will have a lifetime of people reading their name off Chipotle receipts, roll sheets, doctor's office clipboards and diplomas. Preapply some permanent lubricant to these situations and save them from having to pipe up a thousand times over their life "It's pronounced Harold, like it had an H, and with a silent E"
Rule 2: Spelling
Good: Michael, Jackson, Destiny, Emily
Bad: Mykal, Jaxon, Destyneigh, Emmalee
Giving your offspring the name "Jaxon" is effectively the same thing as giving him the name "Jackson, with an X, Jay-ay-eks-oh-en"--which you must admit is a bit unwieldy. An unfortunate trend with my generation is to be 'creative' with your children's name...which the uncreative interpret as "take a normal name, butcher the spelling to be 'cute', insist on original pronunciation". I am ALL for creative names (which my next point will address) but misspelling your child's name is NOT the best outlet.
Rule 3: Commonality
Good: Felicity, Alfred, Rory, Scarlet
Bad: Isabella, Olivia, Jacob, Ethan
In the US,
Popular baby names should be your bible for this one. It lists the top 1000 names by year. The goal here is to keep there from being multiples of your chosen name in your darling offspring's classes/workplace/reality show appearances, to avoid having to be the dreaded "Mike S." Practically, if you stay out of the top 50 or so, your offspring is unlikely to run into their doppelgangers with any sort of regularity. The names I listed in the 'good' row are all less common than the top 700, while the 'bad' are the 1&2 boy and girl for 2009. You can make this a non-issue by picking something totally unique and non-namelike, AS LONG AS it meets rules 1 & 2--Apple is an example I used earlier, but a more out-there example is Penn Jillette naming his daughter Moxie, for the reason that she'll always know she's being addressed when she hears it.
These three rules are open for discussion, and the world won't end if you really want to name your daughter Kayleigh after her greatgrandmother, but I'd love to hear any other rules or guidelines you might have. If you are in the process of naming a child, I beg you to at least CONSIDER the reasons behind these before you saddle your most precious posession with a lifetime of saying "with a y!"