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I'll try not to be rude, but this is how I read this:
"Every time I hit myself in the head with a hammer, it hurts. Can someone help me find a hammer which I can use to hit myself in the head that doesn't hurt?...because I love hitting myself in the head with a hammer, I just don't want it to hurt."
Answer: don't worry about the kind of hammer you use. Stop hitting yourself. Pain is how your body tells you to stop doing something.
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Gives a man a halo, does mead.
"Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."
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