|
My memory is not good, per se. Like Baraka, I tend to remember fragments of things...good and bad, emotions, fleeting visuals and sounds. I can remember things when I have to - for work or school, but I don't think I'm much of a personal memory keeper. For instance, I often find myself in the position of saying 'yeah, kind of...' when someone is asking me if I remember details of a shared experience. I feel bad sometimes because it makes me look like I don't care or don't think back on that time with fondness when that isn't true. It's just that I don't recall experiences verbatim very often. Even when it comes to favorite books and movies I will sometimes have trouble recalling specific events in them.
One upside to this tendency is that I almost never hold grudges against people. I forget the nature and specifics of conflicts easily and move on remaining open to friendship and camaraderie. Only through repetition of bad experiences do I finally settle on 'not liking' someone.
That said, conditions such as Alzheimer's frighten me. I had a mini-freak out a few months ago when I misinterpreted something my sister wrote on facebook about my mother being diagnosed with Alzheimer's. It took me a couple of days to reach her and clear it up, but those two days were very distressing - thinking about my mother losing all of her memories...
so yeah, I'm kind of blase about memories, but then at the same time afraid of losing them. I guess that's silly.
__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce
|