Self-actualization cannot be acheived by the sublimation or "burying" of one's sexuality. Only a superficial form of it can be obtained by misappropriating it under romance and intimacy. True self-actualization comes when a person's sexuality is revealed to one's consciousness in its true nature, whatever that may actually be -- even if it is embarrassing, even it is morally wrong. Even if it is illegal.
Objectification has no place in politics, religion, or economics. The slippery slope to atrocities is apparent in history. Having said that, it is my beleif that if objectification is practiced in a safe, supportive environment -- if it is consumed in small doses, it can be a powerful tool for self-realization. You can come to better know who you are. You can better understand your body and your own emotions. Additionally, if you engage in objectification willfully and arduously, you will come to be more conscious of when you are objectifying someone else (or when they are objectifying you). Because of your deeper knowledge of your emotions, you will never succumb to sorts of perversity of those who are unaware of when they are objectifying someone and projecting their own sickness onto them. (An example would be a christian child molester). If in your life you do not find out how your biology actually functions -- this chemical process of arousal, and its connections to tension and release (in music, in art, plot archs and so on). A denial of this walks precariously on the same road as the christian child molester. Liberation is obtained only when one travels in a completely different direction.
It is only when objectification is applied outside of such an environment -- in non-supportive, manipulative business environments -- that it comes to take on its "criminal" character.
We can turn to an example to illuminate the point. Imagine a white woman who grew up in a slightly racist portion of the american midwest. Her labido, (in its basest form) desires to try group sex with black men. But she hesitates, in fear of what others might think of her. If she closes the gate on the possibility completely, she loses out forever in finding some truth about herself. The cross-reference here is the following material:
Iris once had sex with five black men. She described her memories of this interracial orgy in an autobiographical account, published as Swinger's Diary (1973).
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Iris from Swinger's Diary
I would be lying to claim that I remember everything that happened. All I can be sure of is that we built no barriers. Speech, vision, hearing, taste, touch, all were brought to play in this abandonment to pleasure. Time melted, absorbed in a multitude of orgasms.
I was aware of the visual and tactile pleasure of Roger's black penis entering my vagina . . . Then George slid his penis between my breasts, grasping the softness of them and pressing them about his shaft. Roger immediarely applied his tongue alternatively to nipples and penis, flicking back and forth as he continued his masterful in-and-out movement in my vagina.
I think we all came together . . . As their semen spurted out over my body, and Roger's began to drain out of my vagina, I felt drowned in sex . . . I fealt like a princess who had just been anointed queen -- like the center of the universe, warm, happy, and oh, so very satisfied.
My body wasn't the only contented part of me. My mind was equally satiated. I was in a state of euphoria totally new to me. It was like floating or flying. I hadn't known that sexual abandonment could bring on such a wonderful condition.
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Iris allowed a group of black men to objectify her, at least temporarily, in what I assume was a safe environment. From this she learned of states of euphoria "
totally new to her". I can find no better example of what I am trying to communicate here.
I would say also that the same goes for men. The first step would be a recognition of objectification as something which can be played temporarily. (If only I could get some of you off this Twilight movie romance bandwagon you are stuck on.... )