Anonymous Member

I'm Hispanic raised near the border. My culture certainly frowns down upon it. As the female I was the one who shouldered the blame. Males in my culture at least from my family are highly revered. He was told I dropped out of school and got pregnant. They actually moved me in with another set of cousins during the summers. That is why he never found me. I never knew he had returned. He returned and asked questions but was told I was a whore you name it. Still he looked. I asked about him and they told me he graduated from college and was engaged to be married. I stopped asking. I got married and divorced. I never stopped thinking of him.
I'm sure our family would shun us. The thing is I already had cut them out of my life. All of them. As I grew up I did this for various reasons. However he's on good terms with them. He had a different experience. He never married but I did. I have a common law husband and a child. So what I'm doing is wrong anyway. I do know that no one makes me feel the way he does. Not one single person comes close. I dreamed of him over the years and fantasized about what it would've been like. He said he didn't want to disrupt my life but it is too late. I can't think straight. That is why I brought it here. We talk daily about everything trying to fill in 21 years. Here we are in our 30's quickly approaching our 40's. It's what I dreamed of for so many years and now it still is too late.