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No, because I'd worry about breaking my neck in the process. I don't need my family coming over because they haven't heard from me in a while and encountering my autofellating corpse.
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And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.
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