Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Dating your friend's ex-girlfriend/boyfriend?

MSD · 12-05-2010, 05:48 AM

Let me tell you a bit about my friend Mike (common enough name that I don't think I need to change it, anyone who would recognize his name knows this whole story already.) Mike and B. were dating for a while and eventually she broke up with him and they stayed on good terms. A few months later a mutual friend and B. started having feelings for each other, he told Mike about this and asked if Mike would be bothered by them being a couple. Mike was fine with it, and a few years later B. is dating another mutual friend, everyone is still on good terms, and everyone is happy.

Sometime after Mike and B. broke up, Mike met Christa (some names will not be changed because they're not innocent and don't deserve to be protected.) They were together happily for a few years. Pat was Mike's best friend for years. Last December, Mike got a text from Christa with no warning saying basically "I'm sorry, I can't be with you anymore." For the next few weeks, Mike had no explanation of what happened until finally, a mutual friend of his and Christa's pried it out of her that she and Pat had not simply been "hanging out" recently and had been hiding this from everyone, but allegedly had not fucked until several days after she broke up with Mike, as if that somehow made it better. When Pat was eventually confronted about this, his excuse was that he was always nice and bent over backwards for other people, he had the right to do something selfish for once. Christa is living in her own little world and sees no difference between what she did and B. dating friends of Mike's after they broke up.

A few weeks ago, a few of us (not including Mike) saw Pat and Christa at a bar. I finally broke the ice after 10 months or so of pretending they didn't exist by saying "I guess we might as well talk to you guys, it's getting awkward ignoring you, but we still think you're terrible people." We don't ignore them when we see them anymore, but they pretty much lost all of their friends by pulling that shit. There is a happy ending though, Mike has since found someone he refers to as "the girl of my dreams" and is happier than ever.

In short, it depends on the circumstances and how you go about it.

12-05-2010, 05:48 AM	#6 (permalink)
MSD The sky calls to us ... Super Moderator Location: CT	Let me tell you a bit about my friend Mike (common enough name that I don't think I need to change it, anyone who would recognize his name knows this whole story already.) Mike and B. were dating for a while and eventually she broke up with him and they stayed on good terms. A few months later a mutual friend and B. started having feelings for each other, he told Mike about this and asked if Mike would be bothered by them being a couple. Mike was fine with it, and a few years later B. is dating another mutual friend, everyone is still on good terms, and everyone is happy. Sometime after Mike and B. broke up, Mike met Christa (some names will not be changed because they're not innocent and don't deserve to be protected.) They were together happily for a few years. Pat was Mike's best friend for years. Last December, Mike got a text from Christa with no warning saying basically "I'm sorry, I can't be with you anymore." For the next few weeks, Mike had no explanation of what happened until finally, a mutual friend of his and Christa's pried it out of her that she and Pat had not simply been "hanging out" recently and had been hiding this from everyone, but allegedly had not fucked until several days after she broke up with Mike, as if that somehow made it better. When Pat was eventually confronted about this, his excuse was that he was always nice and bent over backwards for other people, he had the right to do something selfish for once. Christa is living in her own little world and sees no difference between what she did and B. dating friends of Mike's after they broke up. A few weeks ago, a few of us (not including Mike) saw Pat and Christa at a bar. I finally broke the ice after 10 months or so of pretending they didn't exist by saying "I guess we might as well talk to you guys, it's getting awkward ignoring you, but we still think you're terrible people." We don't ignore them when we see them anymore, but they pretty much lost all of their friends by pulling that shit. There is a happy ending though, Mike has since found someone he refers to as "the girl of my dreams" and is happier than ever. In short, it depends on the circumstances and how you go about it.