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Well, it goes a little like this (and I hope this forum doesn't reflexively lash out at me again):
- When I date a girl, that girl and I own a 'special' thing. When we break up, it's no longer mine and I lose all the happiness that we built.
- When my friend moves in, I see it as that friend wanting what we had. Almost akin to encroaching on my territory (what we built was MINE DAMMIT!).
- It is NOT my place to deny happiness to either my ex or my friend, so TECHNICALLY, it's okay.
- In addition, you trust your friend to have your back when things go south with other people-- for example, if she cheats on you, you want your FRIEND to say, 'oh that's fucked up bro, I feel for you.' Not, 'Oh shit, she's single now? I'm gonna drop my dick in that too!'
**HOWEVER, for proper etiquette, you should probably (a) tell your friend you're about to date the friend, or (b) clear with your friend first. Technically, you DON'T have to, but I feel it's right to tell your friend you got a thing going on with his ex.
I found out a trusted friend was dating up my ex, and I had no idea. The way we broke up was not good (she went back to her ex), and I just stopped talking to her. We had a lot of bad blood between the ex and I. For a trusted friend to go and date her w/o me knowing really pissed me off. I felt betrayed and like a fool.
Anyway, bottom line: your friend trusts you to have his back, when you go after his ex girlfriend, your friend feels like you're placing sex above his trust.
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