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Old 12-01-2010, 06:30 PM   #15 (permalink)
SirLance
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Location: In the middle of the desert.
Your daughter sounds like a very mature girl, and you sound like a worried parent who's baby girl is spreading her wings more than you are comfortable with.

Clearly, you have done an excellent job as a parent.

I have a suggestion for you. Get yourself someplace quiet, and figure out what is making you a wee bit scared. Then sit down with your daughter and talk through it.

Tell her your concerns, and while you realize she is very mature, she is also just 18 and still needs guidance from time to time. Tell you you don't want to be over-protective, but you fear (whatever it is you fear) and that you want the best for her, so ask her how she might solve the problem.

She might say "2 am is reasonable" and you can respond "no, and here's why..."

I am willing to bet you can arrive at a set of guidelines that work for both of you, something she is more likely to follow, and something that you can live with, even if you are not entirely comfortable.

And the dialog itself will send the message "Yes, things have changed now that you are 18."

I've raised 4, and at this age you have to find the balance between diplomacy and discipline that lets them remember that you are someone they can come to to talk things out, even if you won't solve the problem for them. It's the toughest job in the world, raising kids. It's also the best job in the world. Go figure.

Based on your OP, I think you're a great parent. You're daughter's behavior says it all.

Full disclosure: I'm 50, a senior executive, 4 kids from 2 to 22. Dunno if I'm the typical TFP'er or not, but that might help you grok my answer a bit better.
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