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Emotional affairs are often times more damaging than physical ones, simply because the emotional investment and connection goes so much further than playing in the sheets.
As humans, there's only a finite amount of energy that we have to give. The only real answer is take the energy that you were devoting to your sis in law and drop it to that of someone else who you would consider a friend. Take that extra energy and put it into the areas you are realizing your wife and yourself have some growing to do.
That re-investment is simply a matter of shifting priorities. Your actions will speak louder than words to your wife, and I think actually putting effort into reaching a bridge you might find that you are satisfied. If you are not... then find ways to incorporate others, not just your sis in law, to have friends to fill that other void.
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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna
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