Quote:
Originally Posted by Makhnov
Having been given the green light on this subject, I will say again that I promote prostitution as an alternative lifestyle against dating and monogamy. One of the common sentences I employ is "Y ou need not subject yourself to vindictive, possessive hags".
For the purposes of communication, that sentence needs to have its meaning fleshed out. Once we get through that, there is a chance that the door of the discussion will be opened to more advanced topics.
Monogamous relationships exist to facilitate and promote the Mommy/baby social unit. They do not exist for the purposes of expanding and promoting the sexual choices of men. In many cases, dating jealous, single women will reduce your choices. Prostitution is a means of increasing your choices.
The alternative involves subjecting yourself to the following,
- Women will interrogate your mercilessly, all while keeping everything about themselves as "incomprehensible secrets".
- They will seize on every little opportunity to aggressively and meanly insult the person they are talking to.
- They fly into Biting Sarcasm Mode out of the blue; where everything coming out of their mouths is a parody of something they hate or someone they think is ridiculous.
- After successfully manipulating your behavior, they will not refer to this as manipulation, but instead say you are "growing as a person".
- They will destroy men's lives in the service of their babies.
- If she takes interest in a guy, and believes there is a possibility of a hookup, she will begin treating him like trash, in order to see if he leaves. This is a litmus test used by women to read men's motivations.
- Later into the relationship, a similar tactic is deployed, but this time it is used to test his loyalty. All of this is in the strategy of extracting and mind-reading.
- Women leverage the pervasive cultural ethos that men are dangerous criminals, and women are innocent bunnies. Thus he must "prove himself safe" in order for communication to continue. She is not genuinely in danger and genuinely interested in staying safe. Her motivation is to extract his entire life story without her having to reveal a single thing about herself. It is pure strategy.
I have been the target of these tactics so many times that I am no longer surprised by them. In fact, I expect women to do this, and without fail they all do them.
Women are not mesmerized by you. They are rarely interested in sex. What mesmerizes women are little children. It is the house full of babies that they want. This true motivation is always concealed, and concealed for purely strategic reasons. This topic alone can be expanded upon in book-length exposition, but I will refrain until relevant replies appear.
An honest suggestion for men: If it is sex you want, you need not subject yourself to jealous, possessive, vindictive hags. Prostitution is your means of increasing your choices. A business transaction will also better serve your preferences. You will not be subject to a forced negotiation about which particular sex acts are available to you and which ones she is " saving for her future husband". This negotiation somehow never takes place until 7 weeks into the relationship. With a woman who is selling services, this obviously happens much faster. |
I have to be brutally honest: for me, the two clear messages that I get out of this post are:
1. You've dated the wrong women. Exclusively. Before being married, I had my share of relationships, and what you've described above does not resemble in any way anyone I've ever been with. It doesn't even describe anyone I've ever been interested in. Or most girls I've even known well.
2. It sounds like you are profoundly uninterested in serious relationships. By which I mean, relating to a person as a partner, coming to know and value them at a deep emotional and spiritual level, experiencing sex as part of an array of interactions that bring you to complex and sophisticated bonding with another human being.
And if #2 is correct, as it sure looks to be, that might be fine. Personally, I think that experiencing sex isolated instances of physical gratification (as in, for example, regularly purchasing the services of a prostitute as a lifestyle choice) is not particularly emotionally or spiritually healthy. But of course, that's your own business. What I think may be a little unclear here, though, is that I am not at all certain that many other men share the views you have described here, much less the solution that you propose as resolving them.
Granted, it certainly does sound like you've found some disastrously issue-ridden women to date, for which you have my sympathy. But I think that for others, who may not have had such a uniformly negative set of experiences with women, there is a desire for relationships that provide a more nuanced and complex spectrum of interactions: something that involves heart and soul, as well as genitals.
I am not suggesting that there is something absolutely objectionable about prostitutes or prostitution. I have long been a big supporter of legalizing prostitution, and the rights of sex workers. And if I knew that a person of my acquaintance had been with a prostitute, I would not think less of them for it. But I think that an entire lifestyle, even a supplementary lifestyle, based on the purchase of sex as a commodity abstracted from emotional and spiritual interaction is unhealthy, and not conducive to promoting either self-worth or valuation of others as individuals.
I think that if you are truly unable to find someone relatively mentally stable and emotionally healthy to have sexual relationships with, it's better to just masturbate than to have meaningless physical gratification with someone for money. And that's not a judgment of sexual morals, but of psychological and spiritual wholesomeness.
To use an analogy, prosititution is like eating the food at county fairs. There is not necessarily anything wrong with deep fried twinkies or mars bars, and funnel cakes, and refried corn dogs. Those can be fun treats when you're at the fair. But it would be unhealthy to make them your regular diet. Not only would you be doing your arteries a grave disservice, but you would be ruining your palate for all the real, fresh, gourmet foods that are out there; so that if presented, let's say, with an exquisitely delicate Japanese miso soup, your palate would be so sugar-fogged and grease-logged that you would miss all the grace and nuanced flavors of the soup.
Visiting a prostitute once, or a couple of times, or even a few times in one's life might be perfectly reasonable, depending on context. Doing so might not adversely affect one at all. But making a lifestyle out of prostitutes, rather than trying to find and cultivate serious relationships with non-sex-professional women will, I think, lead to devaluing the meaning of the sex act. Sure, sex is satisfying physically, and can be fun, and casual. But it can also be so much more. And if the rest of that spectrum of experience is dropped and left untouched, it will ruin your sexual palate. Plus, I think that a lifestyle of nothing but interactions with women as purveyors of a commodity will result in a gradual devaluing of women in your mind.
No, this does not seem like a good idea to me.
My advice to you is to seriously re-evaluate what women you are attempting to engage with. It might potentially profit you to have some dedicated time, in therapy or just in disciplined introspection, to ask yourself why you seem to seek out women who are so controlling and manipulative. But you should also, I think, ask yourself about your own behavior, your own past and experiences, and why you are so focused on sexual gratification without emotional or spiritual partnering, why you seem to be someone reluctant to share himself with others, and why you seem to see interpersonal relationships as so threatening and competitive.