I'm sorry for the loss of your friend and can totally relate to your ambiguous feelings.
Someone close to me died a few years ago and their family chose not to have a funeral or service. We had all discussed it and most were in agreement that they couldn't stand the idea that people who hadn't been in touch for years would come out of the woodwork and saw the whole process as a sort of atonement for them that would accomplish nothing for those that loved her. What we did -- spent nearly 48 hours together reminiscing about good and bad times we shared during her lifetime, laughing and crying, drinking and eating -- was about the most beautiful and real thing we could have done.
Can you tell I abhor funerals? The marriage of awkward, forced niceties and sadness. Ugh.
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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain
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