Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Death of a friend... don't want to go to the services

sbscout · 11-20-2010, 07:46 AM

A very dear friend of mine died late Thursday night in a one-car accident. Witnesses say she just veered off the road and hit a tree. No evidence of drugs or alcohol. She wasn't texting. She WAS scheduled to do a sleep study for apnea in a couple of weeks, so the possibility of just falling asleep at the wheel is a definite possibility.

A great person who leaves a hubby and 5th grade twins.

The services are Monday night. I am extremely uncomfortable going to viewings and funerals (I don't know anyone who's really comfortable). I tend to view the little video and talk to people I know.

I also tend to avoid the casket and the receiving line.

I know that funeral services are a chance for closure. I would much prefer to have my last memories of Barb be happy ones and not... well you get the idea.

I'll go because she was my friend. I'll go to try to comfort the family. But I wonder if there's a way to grieve without this process.

What are your feelings about attending viewings and funerals? Do you think it's just an accepted, if morbid, rite? Or does it offer a final chance for family and friends to say goodbye?

I see both sides, but right now I'm leaning toward the morbidity side.

Goodbye, Barb. You were a special person to a lot of people.

11-20-2010, 07:46 AM	#1 (permalink)
sbscout Disorganized Location: back home again...	Death of a friend... don't want to go to the services A very dear friend of mine died late Thursday night in a one-car accident. Witnesses say she just veered off the road and hit a tree. No evidence of drugs or alcohol. She wasn't texting. She WAS scheduled to do a sleep study for apnea in a couple of weeks, so the possibility of just falling asleep at the wheel is a definite possibility. A great person who leaves a hubby and 5th grade twins. The services are Monday night. I am extremely uncomfortable going to viewings and funerals (I don't know anyone who's really comfortable). I tend to view the little video and talk to people I know. I also tend to avoid the casket and the receiving line. I know that funeral services are a chance for closure. I would much prefer to have my last memories of Barb be happy ones and not... well you get the idea. I'll go because she was my friend. I'll go to try to comfort the family. But I wonder if there's a way to grieve without this process. What are your feelings about attending viewings and funerals? Do you think it's just an accepted, if morbid, rite? Or does it offer a final chance for family and friends to say goodbye? I see both sides, but right now I'm leaning toward the morbidity side. Goodbye, Barb. You were a special person to a lot of people. __________________ Always question authority... it'll keep the bastards on their toes!