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The worst hotel I ever stayed in was a Ramada Inn on Marathon Key, Fl. The stench from rotting drywall and mold was beyond belief. The room itself had patches of walls that were cracking and open. The AC worked but produced a smell not much better then a dead body. There was broken glass in the hallway just outside my door, looked like someone punched out the empty fire extinguisher case. There was pool but every chair was literally covered in bird shit. I spent one night there, out of the three I payed. the next day I drove down to Key West and partied at Fantasy Fest. I spent that night with some new found friends. The last night I drove back to Miami and slept a couple hours in my rental car until it was time for my flight home.
The worst hotel I ever checked into was the Waikiki Outrigger at Hobron. The minute my then wife and I open the door a musky smell hit us in the face. I took one look at the bed and could tell the maid just threw the covers back on instead of changing out the bedding, I pulled back the bedspread and found several hairs. Most were short and curly. There was a small window looking toward the ocean but it was so dirty you couldn't see out it. The room was sold to us as a "suite with partial kitchen." The partial kitchen turned out to be a a two burner hot plate between the main room and the bathroom. On the hot plate I could see burnt circles from where people had used it to heat up their smack spoons. On the mirror there was a sign detailing how to "properly dispose of needles." On the headboard I saw several places where there was a dry milky substance that kind of looked like dried white glue that had hardened while it dripped down. Under the bed I found an assortment of dildos and other adult toys, nipple clamps and the like. I called my travel agent and explained there was no way we were staying there, my ex wouldn't even sit down in the room. I told the agent what the place was like and she said she'd call me back in a few minutes and asked I take pictures. I took a few photos and my cell phone rang. My agent managed to book us into the Sheraton at Waikiki where we ended up in a very nice three room suite with a view of Diamond Head. As we were leaving a manger came up and asked "what's the problem?" I told him the place was filthy. He said he'd have it cleaned. I told him there's not enough beach on this island and told him about the needle disposal instructions. He said "Well, we get a lot of diabetic here." I believe "Outrigger" no longer owns that property.
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I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo
Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club
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