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I work at a homeless shelter, so I come into contact with a lot of drunk and/or crazy folks. One of my fondest memories was when a guy told me he wanted extra food because his wife left him for a pirate. "He got the fuckin' eye patch and everything". I doubt the guy actually had a wife, or if he did that she left him for a real pirate, but it would be awesome if he were telling the truth.
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