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LaLa1 · 11-10-2010, 09:41 AM

This is an interesting discussion, and certainly has me thinking. When I first read it I thought, "oh I'm not afraid of anything". I'm usually the type of person that just goes with the flow, things happen as they should, the path you're on is the right one, nothing to fear... just keep moving forward.

However, after thinking about writing that statement down I realize that can't possibly be true. Right? Everyone has to fear something, right?

For me I think that my biggest fear is probably disappointing people. And I don't understand why. I've been through a lot in my life, rough roads and struggles and had some very down time where I feared even just standing up straight. At this point in my life, my kids are grown, my demons have been beaten down and are now in hiding, and I am squarely in that "go with the flow" head space that I love so much.

Yet... I sit at a job I hate, why? I could quit my job today and move in with Rogue, find something I enjoy that is less stressful and not have to make the commute that I do or put up with the BS I put up with on a daily basis. But I don't, and that has me thinking it must be the fear of disappointing. I took this job, made a pledge to help this company out of their hard times and I've done that. Why am I still here? I work for an elderly man who has been in the construction business for too many years past when he should have retired, and it's miserable here every day. But, I took this job because he needed my help to fix things (I'm an accountant). I could and should move on, but I don't... is it because of fear of disappointing this man who is a bear to work with? In a way yes it is, even though I hate it here I come here every day because the thought of leaving him in the lurch to find another accountant that he trusts is hard for me. Shouldn't I be thinking of myself, yes! Maybe I'm just more driven by what others need from me, and when that person or situation arises that needs me more than this one does my fear of disappointing this situation will be out weighed by another.

11-10-2010, 09:41 AM	#17 (permalink)
LaLa1 Upright Location: Birch Bay, Washington	This is an interesting discussion, and certainly has me thinking. When I first read it I thought, "oh I'm not afraid of anything". I'm usually the type of person that just goes with the flow, things happen as they should, the path you're on is the right one, nothing to fear... just keep moving forward. However, after thinking about writing that statement down I realize that can't possibly be true. Right? Everyone has to fear something, right? For me I think that my biggest fear is probably disappointing people. And I don't understand why. I've been through a lot in my life, rough roads and struggles and had some very down time where I feared even just standing up straight. At this point in my life, my kids are grown, my demons have been beaten down and are now in hiding, and I am squarely in that "go with the flow" head space that I love so much. Yet... I sit at a job I hate, why? I could quit my job today and move in with Rogue, find something I enjoy that is less stressful and not have to make the commute that I do or put up with the BS I put up with on a daily basis. But I don't, and that has me thinking it must be the fear of disappointing. I took this job, made a pledge to help this company out of their hard times and I've done that. Why am I still here? I work for an elderly man who has been in the construction business for too many years past when he should have retired, and it's miserable here every day. But, I took this job because he needed my help to fix things (I'm an accountant). I could and should move on, but I don't... is it because of fear of disappointing this man who is a bear to work with? In a way yes it is, even though I hate it here I come here every day because the thought of leaving him in the lurch to find another accountant that he trusts is hard for me. Shouldn't I be thinking of myself, yes! Maybe I'm just more driven by what others need from me, and when that person or situation arises that needs me more than this one does my fear of disappointing this situation will be out weighed by another.