Not like "oh she's so crazy" but like, probably belongs in a rubber room.
I don't really know how or even IF I should deal with this.
Basically I moved in to this place in September, and less than a few days in, I noticed my upstairs neighbor was quite heavy footed until all hours of the morning like 2am and so on. 3 weeks or so later I finally snapped, she sounded like she was ripping her door off her hinges and jumping up and down on it on some kitchen tile with bowling balls attached to her feet. (I wasn't that far from wrong)
A little about me, I'm 6'6" and work a lot with music as a hobby, had lots of severe ear infections growing up, etc.. all in all I've lost about 30% of my hearing at most frequencies above the midranges.
I go up and knock on her door and I'm quite nice and just tell her "hi, I'm your new neighbor, how are you?" and she just has this distant look like she's wasted, she smells of alcohol.
She seems stumped so I just continue "I just wanted to run up here really quick and let you know that I'm trying to sleep and whatever is going on up here is really loud downstairs for some reason, could you wait until morning to continue?"
At this point in an effort to keep my story short I'm just gonna highlight what happened next, basically she kept pulling 180's in her demeanor, between hitting on me and inviting me in, to threatening to drag me out of my apartment and beat me to death with my own arms if I even so much as whispered any of this towards the management. I laughed and she went in to a fit saying it wasn't funny to her, and here I have this 5'5" ish girl threatening a 6'6" dude in a cartoonish manner.
a week later, she came by, rather sober, apologized, and didn't seem quite as demented, but still had a faint smell about her. I said, "no harm done, have a good night" and closed the door.
another 2 weeks go by, I get back from playing a public electronic show/BBQ in the park, and my friend "M" heads back over to "P"'s house which is just down the road from my place.
it's about 8pm at this point, I just got in and sat down on the computer when she knocks on my door, I open the door and she's standing there with her arms crossed and her head down like she's pouting or something, she looks kind of like good ol Alyson Hannigan
She basically just says she'd like to hang out because she's bored and lonely upstairs. I tell her I have some stuff to catch up on (emails/facebook, whatever) and if she could come back in 20 minutes or so, I'd be up for something.
She says ok, I immediately text my friends and tell them that they need to come over for backup, because I'm convinced she's still got a screw loose.
She comes down, now in a completely different outfit, slightly more casual, just a zip up top and matching sweats, basically the kind of stuff an ex of mine would wear if she wanted to be able to get out of her clothes easily, but I made no assumptions as to her intentions for changing.
She came in, sat on the couch, I asked her a few questions, where she's from, how long she's been here etc.. no job, no car, not sure what her deal is... the general stuff. Got around to "what we do for fun" and hers was pretty much "drinking" but then she appended that to "I don't have any friends out here, it's so lonely" and I just felt bad. I said something like "I drink, I just don't do it alone, seems pointless"
anyways she basically let on that she wanted a drink, right now.
Wanted to go down to the store and pick up some beer or something but since she didn't have a car, wanted me to take her.
I told her my friends were going to be over soon and I didn't want to be out if they came to the door, but she was insistent. I call my friend up and they went out for food 1st so they were going to be another 15-20 anyway apparently so, boo. Calvary was late.
Take her down there and she reveals that she doesn't have any money, but she'd pay me back. I've got a whole freezer full of hard alcohol left over from a housewarming I had when I 1st moved in that I had no interest in drinking on my own so instead of buying her beer I just told her I'd grab some mixers since my friends were coming over anyway. She then acted like I had been holding out on her by not telling her I had that stuff in my freezer.
*shrug*
Anyway, we get back to my place and she asks if it's ok to make a drink and I tell her to go for it. She makes herself ONE... ONE drink.
This is important.
My friends come over and they have food for us all so we pile in to the living room with some arby's, i pop on "get him to the greek" and we start in on the food and drink.
30 minutes later she's just ragging on how bad she hates Jonah Hill, how he's so ugly and fat and weird looking and can't even look at my tv. Does this every 30-60 seconds, with the exaggerated "i need to be the center of attention" level of movement and volume.
"I didn't come here to look at ugly fatties I came here to look at hot guys like you" raised a few eyebrows. After about 10 minutes of this I was like "ok well obviously you can't handle this movie so we'll try something else.
I toss in "Rock n rolla" which I haven't seen yet (still haven't, as you can imagine what happens next)
5 minutes go by and she's already at it again, she's only half way thru the drink by this point. She's just commenting on how everyone in the movie is a giant asshole, or gay.
by the time she finishes her drink, she's standing up in a stance that looks like she's about to start swinging at the guys on the tv, and I pause it and she snaps out of it and I'm like "um... can you sit down? you're in the way, geez"
"oh I'm sorry I'm just a dork, i've been lonely and I don't know how to act around people anymore" while she sits next to me and starts leaning on me like she wants to cuddle or something...
unpause the movie and 20 seconds later she leaps up from the couch and starts screaming at the tv, calling the characters "f*ggots" "n*ggers" and other expletives I don't feel like going over. Me and my friends are just looking at each other like "this is the most terrifying failure of humanity we've ever witnessed 1st hand"
Well, they excuse themselves claiming to be tired by 9:30 or so and leave me alone to deal with this.
I'm kinda curious what her deal was, but knew she had to get out.
Well she's swinging punches in the air towards the tv and I'm just nervous about her damaging it since she couldn't even afford to buy her own drinks.
I just turn the tv off entirely and tell her she needs to calm down.
but she winds up swinging a bit wide and hitting me in the face *I was still sitting down*
I get up at this point and just tell her "you need to go home now, we're done here"
She gave me a look like I just kicked her puppy or something.
She sits down and started apologizing, then easing her way back in to casual conversation, I just stood there and stared her down. Then she was like "you really want me to go now huh?"
"I think it would be for the best at this point"
She gets up and is like "ok well I'm going to steal something from you"
"I don't think so."
she goes over and grabs a bottle of whiskey, I take it from her and she goes back and grabs a bottle of vodka instead, it was half empty and cheap and I just wanted her the fuck out so...
I was like "ok fine, go on"
I put the bottle back and she acts like she can't walk on her own all of a sudden, leaning on me & whatnot.
again, one drink.
she randomly blurts out "I'm still a virgin"
*sigh* "ok"
"It's not fair"
"what?"
"You're so fucking hot, I want to fuck you"
"You..wow, I haven't heard that one, um.. strange huh?"
"what the fuck, I tell you I want to fuck you and you just think it's strange?"
"well you're the only person to approach me like that, what do you think?"
"wait, you're a virgin too!!!"
"no, not at all, um, oh hey I found your shoes"
I take them outside with me and she follows.
starts fumbling with her keys, drops them down 3 flights of stairs.
"can I sleep on your couch?"
"you live upstairs....."
"oh yeah, I do huh?"
*rolleyes*
I tell her to stay put on the stairs, run down and grab the keys, come up, unlock her door, she goes in and tells me to come in. I reaaaaallly don't want to but I'm kinda curious why she is the way she is.
there are pictures of her and a young child in frames, a couple of times thruout the place, a huge collection of beanie babies, and her bathroom door is completely torn off it's hinges. The place is looks like it's been destroyed mostly. She has cable tv as well. I couldn't figure out how she was paying rent/utils/cable without having a job/car but I imagine she's got some money for being crazy lol.
anyways she tells me I can sit on her couch, which is more like a loveseat, I'm really quite ready to bolt.
she puts the vodka away, comes over and lays down on the loveseat and uses my lap as a pillow. The tv is on some music station, the kind with no videos so I'm just trying really hard to come up with a reason to get out of this situation I've let myself get in to. She starts making ducklips at me like she wants me to make out with her and I'm not havin it. Fuck.
"who's the kid?"
she just sighs and goes "im a virgin" again.
"cool, how'd that happen" *seriously did I just say that?*
"I am in love with this guy (she said his name but I don't remember) but he doesn't feel the same way."
"oh, what happened to the bathroom?"
"I was mad, I have to buy a new door"
"If you weren't such a noisy bitch, you wouldn't have that problem"
she starts reaching up to touch my face, I thought. Turns out she's trying to stick her hands in my mouth, a little strange. I'm ready to go now.
"well I gotta get to bed, busy day tomorrow"
"ok can you turn out the lights for me?"
"um.. ok."
I turn out the lights, tell her to have a good sleep, go home
30 minutes later she's stomping around again.
*sigh*