Quote:
Originally Posted by ChickenMuffin
I have concerns, will it do me harm
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I'm glad you asked. Yes, it will do you permanent, irreversible harm. There are several risks you need know and plan for.
First, your penis may shrivel up, turn black and fall off. It will eventually be replaced by a vagina, but there will be an uncomfortable in-between period where you'll simultaneously want to lift weights, grow a mullet and play field hockey. Once the transformation is complete, you will not lose sexual interest in women, which is why the process is called "dykification".
If that's not bad enough, a woman's natural lubricants can hurt your eyesight, especially as you grow older. You'll no longer be able to read small print and you'll eventually need glasses. You could also completely lose the ability to see. Men with talented tongues often go completely blind.
Finally, and most importantly, cunniligus can actually KILL you! Studies have shown that men who perform oral sex on their partners often receive deadly blowjobs in return. Over 63% of women who perform oral sex on their partner (to completion) after having received it themselves create a suction effect that draws the heart down into the body cavity, much like a slingshot. When the male orgasms, the heart is released and bounces around the inside of the chest wall, causing havoc among the other organs.
Forewarned is forearmed. Be careful out there. You should never ever go down on your partner unless you're willing to accept the consequences of penis loss, blindness and/or death. Some poor souls have suffered all three at the same time.
I suggest locking yourself away from all girls at all times. Not only will you resist the temptations posed by cunniligus, you'll also stay cootie-free.