Quote:
Originally Posted by Vigilante
Yeah, no connection issues to speak of in our marriage. We profess that we are soul mates, and whether you believe in such a thing or not, we live that way too. We probably tell either other that we love the other 20 times a day or more. Not sure if you've picked up on this yet John$, but I don't really hold back what I'm thinking when I want to say something. I'm pretty good at listening too. To simplify some things, I told my wife years ago that I am a simple person. Do not assume implication, because what I say is direct. If I say a dress doesn't fit, it doesn't fit. I am not saying "you're fat". Likewise I asked that she remove the implication and just say what she means. We have very good communication because of this.
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This is essentially the point that I was striving to make. When there is good communication, there are far less issues to complain about.
I do not wish to suggest any broad base assumptions because, as I see it, every circumstance is unique. Yet it seems to me that when people are able to talk with each other, there is far less stress.
Being kind does help as well. Shall we sat that there was a time when I was convinced that every problem in my life was 100% some other person's fault. Sometimes it takes a long time to find the best person to identify for blame. If you start to listen very carefully so that you can pick the person at fault, you may discover some things. Eventually I realized that people get entangled with each other in various ways. I realized that it is seldom only one person who has been disruptive.
Now if you have a partner, then finding a person is easy. The task then becomes identifying how to resolve the issues. One again, listening can be used for that purpose. That is unless you expect your partner to discover how they have been wrong about so many things entirely on their own without and insights from you. I am talking about helpful insights - not a list of complaints.
I have found that once a conversation can begin, issues are able to be resolved.
I was hoping that my little bit of experience, with this sex issue?, could help the group.
John