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I have a far out point of view on this. I doubt any of the guys would agree with me but some of the ladies may relate.
In my view, men do not listen to women when she talks to them. As I see it, listening is the art of noticing not just what a person is saying but also what they are not saying. It is the degree of noticing and relating to that person's feelings and points of view.
Now I mention this because I suspect that the OP's issues are not about sex but they are about the connectedness between him and his loved one.
Once a woman feels, and that is a very internal sense for her, that you are interested in her, she will be more inclined to have fun with you.
John
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