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Ever thought about discussing this with a third party (besides us) to break yourselves out of the stalemate you've found yourself in? You might consider looking for a marital/family therapist with a background in sex therapy. Even if you can't ultimately resolve the issue, therapy may help you to come to terms with why it is the way it is, and help your wife express why she isn't interested in sex all that much.
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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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